Forbidden
by Hatsuharu
Summary: Riku was a sexy, smart, charming guy but suddenly everyone shunned him. Through the years, he’s become an 18 year old antisocial who’s disturbingly in love with his biological sister, Kairi. He’s needs someone, anyone, to bring out his old self again ...
1. Headphones

**A quick word to new readers: This is _not _a Shounen-ai, or a Boy's love story. It's about a deep friendship, two unexpected people going through heavy trauma in their lives and how they both help and influence each other to get out of their pasts. So while there's love, it's purely platonic, or friendly. :D Otherwise, please enjoy this story!**

**Forbidden**

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic

Chapter One

Riku laid his head down against the window of the car door, watching nothing in particular but still occasionally catching a glimpse of an interesting person or scene. The rain was pouring down hard, so much so that it blinded nearly everything just feet from within his line of vision, so he hadn't bothered to be interested in what was around him. Screaming headphones played in his ears and his hands were resting casually in his lap. His gorgeous, aquamarine eyes were beginning to close.

'_Kairi,' _he thought, the image of the young girl coming to mind. She was so amazing to him. She had short, auburn hair and deep blue eyes, and that_ smile_. Whenever she smiled for him, nothing else mattered. She was everything to him.

His eyes snapped open and he glared, the hands in his lap turning to fists. She wasn't there. Not anymore. He wouldn't ever be able to see her smile, to see her laugh, to see her pretty, perfect face. His eyes shifted to the person in the front seat, a man with long silver hair much like his pulled loosely back and the same, sharp green eyes. He looked up in his rear-view mirror and caught the gaze.

"It's for the best," he simply said to Riku, sighing a bit. He made a turn down a run down city street, and Riku thought he heard a car horn blowing from somewhere. He didn't really pay attention, only listened to his father's hurtful, strong words through his music. "You know that what you're doing is wrong. You need time away from her."

"From _her_?" Riku snapped, offended. He was careful not to raise his voice; he knew that as long as he kept the same tone, his father would listen. That was the good thing he had with him, unlike his mother. He was the only one in the family he could talk to decently, who would listen to some of his complaints. Even if he didn't believe a word Riku said at times. "It's Kairi. You should know."

"Kairi. . ." His father repeated, his eyes averting back to the road. However, he continued to speak in a more distant tone. "And you should know what you're doing to her is hurting her."

There. That point, that reality, that pain that Riku had throbbed in his chest every time he heard that. It was true; loving her caused not only his mother and father pain, but Kairi too. When she found out, she cried in her room. She wouldn't come out, and she wouldn't even talk to him. It had been weeks since he spoke to her. When he left, she never came out to say goodbye.

"I don't care," Riku said coldly, now looking out to the street again. It wasn't true, but he just didn't want to admit how hurt he was. Somehow he had managed to listen to his father through his headphones for the past few minutes, but now it was becoming a challenge doing two things at once. He pulled them down till they rested on his shoulders. "I just want to be with her. No one believes me about everything, but if I was given a chance, if . . . If we tried, I'm sure she would love me ba-"

"That's _enough_!" he shouted, and Riku's already tense body froze. He did it. He broke the rules first. He shouted. Riku took a momentary glance at his father, and he could tell that he realized he broke their little rule too, the only thing that let them have a civilized conversation. He was focusing a bit too much on the road now, trying to get back in his own world.

Riku put the headphones back on. No more conversation. His world needed tending too.

Kairi stared up at the pallid white ceiling in her room, her eyes weak and red. She wanted to sleep right now, but she couldn't. Millions of questions and thoughts were jumbled in her head, but no one was there to answer them. She hadn't even bothered to take off her shoes she was so tired. Her feet faced upward, the toes of her shoes touching slightly.

Her headphones rattled with music, the livid resonance vibrating her ears. She could hear the words, the sound, but they didn't comprehend. She had too much on her mind. Kairi bit her lip when she thought of it, tearing off the skin; she hated this habit, which started only a few weeks ago, but she couldn't stop it. Not anymore.

Instead of crying again, she tried to find something to laugh about, or something else to find interest in. She focused on the music. _'I don't get it,' _she thought, a small, barely visible smile on her lips. _'They're not even singing . . . Just shouting. Why would anyone listen to this? Riku, was this really your favorite-'_

She stopped her thoughts, biting down harder. She couldn't help it. She held both of her hands to her face and cried, pulling her blanket out from under her to wipe the tears away. Mascara smeared her cheeks, a glowing pale now from being so raw. _'It doesn't matter! No matter what I think about, it always comes back to you . . .'_

Why did Riku have to say he loved her? _Why?_ Why did he do _that_ to her? He could have been quiet. They could have still been together, still laughing, still telling each other their secrets. The last one he revealed was one she wished he kept with him forever. Kairi dragged one of her hands down from her eyes and felt her lips; they were ripped and tattered. But something about them tingled. She couldn't remember it so well, but she knew what had happened. She just knew.

A few light knocks on her bedroom door brought her out of her thoughts, and she pressed the button on her radio to shut the music off. She pulled off the headphones and sat up. By then, her intruder had come in. She was tall and thin, with her same blue eyes and long and wavy ginger hair. While her expression tried its best to smile, it looked like she had been crying as well; her eyes were lined with red.

"Kairi," her mother said, kneeling over to her daughters' bed. She let a hand grace her cheek, using her thumb to try to mix the tears with the make-up and wipe it off. It only smeared more. Seeing that face, the one that was so happy earlier, always cheery and positive so sad now . . . She took a breath. She couldn't cry. Not in front of her daughter, who had to take the hardest blow of all. _'Be strong.' _

"I'm sorry this had to happen," she started in a slow voice, as if unsure of what to say. She leaned forward and kissed Kairi's forehead to try and make the situation better. When she was younger and Kairi would cut or scrape herself on something, all she had to do was kiss it and it would be better, like magic. Maybe this would work too. "This whole mess . . . none of us saw it coming, and it happened so fast-"

"It's okay, Mom," Kairi said softly but shakily, smiling as best as she could. A small tear ran down her cheek as she said it, the drop landing on her collarbone and drifting underneath her shirt. She rested a hand on her mothers'. "I know it's hard. You're doing what you think is best. We can all start over someday. The four of us, together."

She was surprised she had heard her daughter say that. _'The four of us?' _Was she saying that she could forgive Riku for wanting to be so . . . intimate with her? But _how_? _She _couldn't even forgive her own son for doing this, ruining the family with something so disgusting, so degrading. But, if it's what she thought was hope . . . "Maybe. Someday, the four of us will become closer again."

"Yeah," Kairi agreed, pulling her Mother into a hug. She could feel her shoulders trembling. "Riku just needs some time. It's okay . . ."

She let go and gave Kairi one last kiss on the forehead, wiping her eyes a little as she turned and walked away. She closed the door silently behind her, barely making an audible sound. The moment she was gone Kairi's sweet smile faded, her face a blank slate as her head fell back on her pillow with a thud. She pressed the play button on the radio.

Kairi put the headphones back on. No more conversation. Her world needed tending too.

X x x x x

Author's Notes: Finally, the first chapter has been edited! It actually hasn't changed too much- just a few more details added here and there. I've noticed that my style has changed drastically throughout this story- it's starts off with a semi-detailed style, then a completely pregnant-blunt style, and now it's into a detailed style. I'm not changing a lot, but I am going to change the styles to be more consistent. :D Alright!


	2. Dance

**Forbidden**

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic

Chapter Two

"Riku," Kairi said softly, and Riku's head turned up in her direction. He was sitting on his younger sister's bed, one arm propped on his knee and the other palm pressing firmly into the mattress to keep balance. There was a small light inside of her walk-in closet so she could dress in there, and that was just what she was doing. She just bought a new dress with her friends earlier that day and couldn't wait to show it off. "Are you ready?"

"Anytime, sis," he said, smiling even though he couldn't see her. Kairi opened the door slowly, stepping out and showing off a cherry colored dress which stopped high on her thighs and squeezed her hips and chest. It didn't have any sleeves, but it covered up to her collar bone, completely concealing any cleavage underneath. It glittered with sparkles, and he was stunned at the sight. _'She's beautiful . . .'_

"So?" Kairi spun around on the carpet in her bare feet, balancing a little on her tippy toes. Her long, wavy red-brown hair spun with her, almost as if the wind was inher room and lifting her. She almost fell over but caught herself in the twirl and she giggled to cover her mistake. "What do you think?"

"It looks perfect," he replied. To conceal the meaning behind those words he gave her a thumbs up with the hand that was on his knee, settling both of his legs over the side of the bed. "Ten out of ten!"

Kairi smiled and bounced over to hug Riku around the neck, pulling him into the tight, sisterly hug she always gave him when she was happy with him. He hesitated, his chin on her shoulder and his eyes wandering. Though the front concealed much, her dress had no back to it and came as dangerously low as possible. His face flushed and he ached to feel her soft skin underneath his fingers, but gulped lightly and averted his eyes towards the wall. She let go and gave him a quizzical expression, her hands on her hips.

"Riku?" she asked, her curious, baby pout evident. "Is something wrong?"

"N-No," he replied, keeping his face low. He really couldn't stand this feeling; it made him an idiot at the worst times, and _only _around her. He didn't want to look stupid around Kairi! He looked downwards so his silvery bangs would shuffle into his face and he tried his best to concentrate, waiting for the color on his cheeks to fade. When they did, he was smiling at her confidently. "Nothing's wrong, Kairi! Are you wearing that to the dance?"

"Yup." Kairi winked, turning to walk back into the closet. When she was this chipper she always seemed to have a bounce in her step; then again, she was _always_ this chipper so she _always_ had a bounce in her step. It was part of what made Riku so fond of her in the first place. She walked in the closed the door, and after only a brief second she peeked her head out of a crack. She grinned mischievously. "No peeking, you hear?"

"_What_?" That did it. His face had gone red again and he looked down, waving a hand at her casually. He disguised his voice as best as he could. "No way! That's gross."

"I was just kidding," she replied with a smile, giggling just a little bit as she closed the door again. Riku kept as quiet as possible. He could hear shuffling, and his heart would beat faster. He tugged on his shirt over where his heart was, feeling the beats thump up and down in a swift rhythm. Listening to her in there, it was as if he couldn't breathe. It was _so much_.

'_I'm sick,' _he told himself, hating this feeling. He suddenly wanted to throw up. _'It's disgusting . . .' _

It had been two years since he started seeing Kairi in a whole new light, noticing how her body had gained those teenage curves and that foxy glint in her eyes. It wasn't immediate, but a slow, wrenching process of denying and forbidding, trying to convince himself that it wasn't what he thought it was. But it was all a lie; he knew exactly what he was feeling towards his little sister, and it was too late to prevent it.

When she walked out she was dressed in the outfit she wore before; a plain white top and a violet skirt. Nothing fancy, but even then Riku thought she was gorgeous. She had always been one of those girls who could dress in anything she pleased and look like she had just walked out of fashion show. In his eyes, anyway.

His body stiffened as she stepped towards him in her still bare feet, her charming smile evident. She comfortably sat herself on his lap, and as his face became redder her expression became more adorably confused. She pressed a hand on his chest over his own hand that was already there, still holding his heart. Her fingers slipped in between, her nails feeling his rigid palm. She looked concerned.

"Riku, what's wrong?" Kairi asked, completely innocent. Riku's other hand gripped the mattress and he shut his eyes tightly. He didn't want to look at her; he didn't want her to be this close. If she kept doing this, he might . . . "Are you upset because I don't like you back?"

Riku's eyes opened as he gaped down at her in disbelief. _'How did she . . .? I never told her!' _

"It's okay." She smiled again and leaned forward, placing a light, soft, dry kiss on his lips. She laid her head on his chest, listening to fast, rapid beats. "I'm sorry I was so mean about it, not talking to you and everything. We can be together if you want. We can do _anything you want_."

"Anything?" Riku asked. She felt her nod on his torso. Her fingers stroked and pulled at the collar of his shirt, as if she couldn't wait to get it off. He gulped deep. He couldn't do this . . . Not with his own sister . . . This wasn't normal. This wasn't right. This wasn't Kairi.

Riku woke up with a start, his harsh breathing heavy. He felt his warm face, sticky and plastered with sweat. He sat up in his bed, a long white mattress in an apartment room that wasn't even set up with the rest of the bed yet. He wiped the wetness off of his face with his bed covers. Feeling the flush from his dream still on his face, he scrubbed even harder. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to steady his breaths.

'_Thinking of Kairi,' _Riku thought, dropping the covers and running his hands through his hair, trying his best to get the bangs out of his face. They flopped back in their feathery place. _'It hurts . . .'_

He slid off of the bed and put his feet on the ground, walking out of his brand new room. It was a small residence, with two bedrooms and a bathroom, plus the kitchen and the living room all together. As soon as he stepped out of his room he could see the stove and empty cabinets. The floor wasn't visible, completely was covered by an ocean of boxes.

Glancing at the clock over the stove wearily, Riku realized that it was almost time to get up anyway. The sun was getting ready to rise as he could see through the windows right by the home entrance, and he kicked a few packages to get to one of the casements. He looked out and down, seeing already many cars whiz by on the busy, crowded looking street.

He scowled as he looked down on it, then turned around. He missed his old home in the suburban. It wasn't too country-like or too city-like, just the way he liked things. Granted, he always liked the idea of visiting new places, but . . . This was different.

'_It's not some temporary getaway,' _Riku thought, pushing down more boxes to get on the couch in the center of the room. It really hadn't been placed in its final spot yet, but it would probably stay there. _'This is forever. Forever without family, without real friends . . . without Kairi.' _

Riku was abruptly stirred out of his thoughts when he heard a loud slam on the door. He decided to ignore it, assuming that it was a tree branch banging against the side of the apartment, even if there were no tree branches. That's what happened back at his real home on windy nights. It happened again for a second time, and after a few moments a third time. Instead of a fourth time, he heard a voice.

"What?" it said. It sounded like a young school boy. Riku wondered what someone would be doing with their room, unless they were trying to break it open to raid it. Too bad for them; the door was locked. "I could've sworn the new people were coming today . . . _hey_! Open up!"

More furious knocks sounded this time, a loud rapping that Riku couldn't overlook. He stood and stomped to the door, jerking it wide open and shouting angrily so loud that it echoed, "_What the hell is it!_"

"Ah, sorry . . . Did I wake you up?" Before him was a short, baby faced boy with prickly, all-over-the-place hair and profound sea blue eyes. They were large and childish, and when he saw Riku he smiled sheepishly using a dollish expression as the ultimate weapon. Who _could _get angry after seeing them?

"No," Riku bluntly said, putting on an annoyed face. He didn't want to be mean, but he also just wasn't in the mood to be bothered by anyone at the moment. Especially children. "Why are you here?"

The boy smiled and reached into his deep parachute pants pocket, shuffling through until he handed Riku a wrinkled and curled newspaper with a wide, tacky smile. "You're the new neighbors, right? I'm Sora. I deliver the morning paper."

Sora kept his hand held out as if waiting for Riku to shake it, but instead Riku looked down at like it was foreign object. He really, _really_ didn't feel like establishing any new bonds of friendship right now. He just wanted to go home, to see Kairi, to see if there was any way possible way she would love him back. When it came to her, shaking some little paper boy's hand just didn't compare.

"I'm busy, okay?" Riku said, slowly shutting the door. Sora let his hand drop to his side and he pouted. "My dad and I have a lot of unpacking to do."

Sora shrugged, as if it were no big deal. "Let me help you then."

"No, we're fine, thanks."

Before Sora could get another word in Riku had shut the door firmly behind him. Sora kicked the door with the toe of his shoes, sticking his tongue out for good measure before he pouted some more and turned around. He hadn't expected that at _all_. Usually new tenants absolutely adored his sweet smile and would do anything to feel welcome. But _no_, not this new guy.

X x x x x

Author's Notes: Chapter two is edited. Yeay! Added more details and a little bit more to the Kairi x Riku scene, but not much. :D I'm improving it! Alright!

Many thanks to: endling, zhakeena, Chimichan, Sky-Pirate-Tat, tasuku-sempai, epitaphpleasewriteme, Will's Girl, Kia Saphia, LiLi-Sama, to lazy to log in..., Kage-chan, AlexX and carbuncle021!


	3. Scissors

Wow, more wonderful reviews!I'm really touched. –sniffle- lol! I have a question; how do you join one of those C2 Communitiy thingies? Like, enter your story in it and stuff? I've no idea. XD lol! But . . . is there a good category for this story?

Will's Girl- Yup . . . He goes through a lot in this story! As I've finally figured out his role in it. XD Ha ha!

Sky-Pirate-Tat- Yeay for happy dances! Lol! I wish the chapters were longer too, truth be told. XD For some reason, I'm really having a hard time writing the emotions in this story. It's new for me! I'll try to make let decent though. : D

Xie- OMGosh DRUNK MONKEYS! –Runs around and does the happy dnace with the drunk monkeys- : D I _did _see this program once that says that monkeys like alcohal just as much as people. XD They showed drunk monkeys staggering on a beach and falling over an everything. Lol!

tasuku-sempai- Thanks very much! Hmmm . . . I'm still fleshing out the details, but I'm pretty sure of what Sora's role will be. Can you believe I have like, none of this story planned? What am I supposed to do with Kairi and Riku? Will their parents play a role? Who else will come in? Ohhhh nooooo! XD Gotta figure this stuff out. Lol!

Simplie Peachie- lol! Thank you very, very much! –hug- I enjoyed your review. : D The writing emotions thing is really tough; I don't want to sound repetitive, but it's not a happy time, so they have to keep feeling bummed! And I'm glad you couldn't tell it was a dream- I thought it was too obvious! XD Yeay! Sora will have some role in this . . . just gotta incorporate it right. XD

Hearts.Pocky- And continue I shall! Lol, yup. The idea of Sora being the paper boy just sounds really cute to be, for some reason. XD He has the little boy face! So adorable! –glomps Sora- lol!

KANA- Gosh, so many people are asking for Shounen-ai . . PERVERTS! –Turns around and bumps into a shelf in her room loaded with Yaoi and Shounen-ai and everything under the sun- . . . Ummm . . . Nothin' to see here! Lol! Actually I'm too young to have anything _that_ bad. XD lol! I might make it that way, but I'm still not totally sure. I need to figure it out soon!

Kia Saphia- lol! More I shall give! I just hope I write it well enough . . . It's tough! XD

**Forbidden**

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic

Chapter Three

"Hey, did you hear that rumor?" Whispers.

"You mean the one about Kairi and Riku getting it on?" It was always, always spreading.

"Aren't they brother and sister? That's _gross_!"

That stupid gossip, and the day everything changed was the day Kairi wanted to go and apologize to every girl she ever talked about behind their back, spreading lies. What she hated even more was that everything was true. It was all true.

The day after_ it _happened Riku didn't come back to school. He stayed in his room, locking the door and refusing to come out. But she was sure her friends would understand, that it was something one-sided she never knew about. They all knew she wasn't that kind of girl. Right?

She almost felt like a bomb ready to explode when she walked into school after _it _happened. She stepped in the school building, and everyone stared at her, the halls becoming deathly quiet. A murmur started, and like wildfire it spread between everyone else, all talking about the same thing. She walked past, her head high. She smiled and waved at a few girls, but they weren't being any different from the others. _'Ignore it. Ignore it! It'll go away in a few days.'_

She skipped her locker, not wanting to get close to hear what everyone was saying. There were so many people speaking now she couldn't point out a single word. But at the same time, it was all crystal clear. Kairi slid open the classroom door and walked in, thankful that there were only a few students in the room. All of them gaped as she slid back her chair and sat down. She made sure to stare down at her desk intently.

"Hey, Kairi."

She looked up to see her friends there. Yuffie had short dark hair and Selphie had bouncy, light brown curls. She smiled at them and they smiled back. Inside something told her to be scared; something didn't look right, but she wanted so hard to play it off. Just play it off, everything will be okay. "Hey guys . . ."

Yuffie tugged on Kairi's wrist, telling her to rise. "Come on to the bathroom with us, okay?"

"What?" she asked, though she did as she was told. She wasn't sure what was going on. Selphie also pulled on her other arm, dragging the red haired student out of the classroom she had just settled in. She frowned. _'I forgot my bag.'_

As they were in the hall Kairi could feel the stares once again licking her skin, but she did her best to pay attention to her friends. They probably just wanted to speak to it privately, and the bathroom was the perfect place. Yuffie leaned closely and spoke quietly so the three were the only ones who could hear it. "So, about the whole thing with Riku . . ."

"Oh . . . The rumor going around?" Kairi said playfully, trying to be as bubbly on the subject as possible. Maybe if she was casual about it she could lie and say none of _it _never happened. This was Yuffie and Selphie, right? They had all been best friends since childhood. They would always, _always _believe her.

The three stepped into the bathroom, which, luckily for them was virtually empty. Yuffie and Selphie let go of Kairi's wrists and she turned around so she was facing her two friends, smiling as calmly as possible. She even giggled a bit, which she often did. "You see, that whole thing . . . It's not true. None of it."

"It wasn't?" Selphie said, her eyes wide with curiosity. "But Yuffie saw you with him in the back of the school . . ."

Kairi felt stabbed. This was horrible. She was seen by not only the school, but by one of her best friends. She didn't care about the others, but now . . . She couldn't lie now; she couldn't just play everything off. Yuffie turned to the sink in the bathroom and put her purse down on the rim, shuffling through it a bit. She smiled and stopped, then she pulled out a pair of scissors.

"We really don't need people as sick as you here, you know," she said. Kairi's body stiffened when she saw the sharp double blades, but Selphie sniggered mischievously and held her arms in case she ever tried thinking of running out. Yuffie stood at the entrance, forcing Kairi to only bide time by backing up. When she felt her back cool against the tile wall, she shut her eyes.

But even then, she saw the end point coming to her face.

Kairi's face formed a baby pout as she looked in the mirror of her bedroom. The lights were dim since she hadn't changed them for better ones, but it was of the least of her concerns. She'd rather not see the details of her chewed lips anyway. She didn't want to see the cuts on her face either.

'_This looks stupid,' _Kairi thought furiously, ripping the pink pins she had put it out of her hair. Once long and wavy, it was now choppy and short. Her Mother had offered to go to the barber. She refused. As she jerked the clips out some hairs pulled along with it, stinging her scalp. _'I look so ugly this way . . .'_

She turned around and sat back down on her bed, glancing at the stereo but deciding not to listen to it. Riku's favorite CD was still in it, and she wasn't in any mood to hear it. Instead she lied on her side and pulled in the little white bear he had given her on her birthday. It was a funny looking thing, with a red puff ball springing from its' head and violet, bat-like wings, but she always treasured it because it was from him.

Kairi squeezed around its' belly hard as she though about it. _'Riku . . . I don't think of you that way. You're my brother . . . You're special to me, but. . .' _

Her habit started up again and she chewed on a bit of skin from her bottom lip, tearing the bit apart in her mouth. She shut her eyes. This was the only thing she could do to calm down; just continue the nervous habits and everything will go away. Just stay in her room and nothing will happen again. She didn't need school. She didn't need friends. She's didn't need lovers. Especially not Riku.

Kairi's fingers drifted away from the softness of the bear and she began to chew away at the nails, finding that she had already destroyed her lips to the point of bleeding. She bit until she couldn't fit her teeth into the skin. Now she had nothing to ease her. Her body started to shake and she cried.

-

"Going to work now, right?" Riku asked as he opened another box. This was the last one, and then they could trash them all in the dumpster. In their old home he and Kairi would burn the boxes in their backyard when they didn't want them anymore instead of throwing them away. They'd stay up all night, then cuddle sweetly in the grass till the last flame breathed. It was like a festival.

'_It was innocent then,' _he thought, taking out a heavy set of encyclopedias. These were his Fathers, not his. He hated learning. He placed them on the table in the middle of the room. _'She was my sister then . . .'_

Riku's Father opened the door to his bedroom and came out adjusting the tie to a wealthy businessmen's suit. He smiled at his son in answer to his question, nodding. "I'll only be here for a while to help you get things settled; you should probably get a job too."

"Yeah, right," Riku replied. "I'm not doing that _and_ going to school. Too much work."

His Father frowned. "You'll never get anywhere in life if you act so lazy."

"Isn't my life already at rock-bottom?"

An eerie silence followed, and Riku was thankful he didn't shout it. That would mean breaking the rules, which was the only thing he felt kept him and his Father on speaking terms. He was being nice, but given the choice he was sure there would be no such relationship. Riku's Father stepped across the room and opened the front door, leaving without another word.

As soon as he was gone Riku swung his body around and leaned against the wall. Suddenly everything was heavy. His heartbeat quickened, his breath paced. He bit down hard on nothing, squeezing the air out from between his teeth before he covered his face in his hands.

'_Nothing,' _he thought, feeling his back slide on the textured wall. _'I'm nothing, that's what I am. I can't even get along with my own Dad.'_

Thanks to _it_, thanks to him being irrational, thanks to him being stupid, he lost everything he ever treasured. Kairi's smile came into view and he shut his eyes tighter. Anything to make it all go away. If he couldn't have one thing, he didn't want anything at all. His skin stung as he wiped his skin raw from hot tears. _'I hate this . . .' _

He heard a knock on the door.

X x x x x

Oooh, so _that's _how Kairi got her hairstyle. –Shrugs- Dunno, really. But it's a cute hairstyle if you ask me! More drama in this story. XD Yeay! This is so hard . . . But hopefully it will still get better! Did everyone like it? Isn't it cute how Riku gave his sister a Moogle? Yes, it's a moogle! Did I describe it right?

Being attacked by scissors . . . I bet it's a scary thing. T.T I hope I got emotions good in this one too. And who's at the door? I dunno! I haven't written the next chapter yet. –Everyone falls over- lol! Please review when done reading! Thanks everyone! : D


	4. Anxiety

Another Chappie, another chappie! –Does the Monkey- I love Johnny Bravo. XD Anyways, this chapter was really hard to write! But then again, all of them are. Lol! I still hope you like it, everyone!

Lvkishugs- lol, I think my Grandparents were also over when I got this review. What a coincidence! And I like Kairi's hairstyle too. It's so cute! I would love to have hair like hers . . , lol!

LiLi-Sama- -Hugs- Thank you! Flahsback? Of course! There will definitely be a flashback . . have to let the readers know what's going on, right?

Simplie Peachie- Someone added my story to their C2 thing, but I still don't uderstand it much. But it's really cool to be a part of one! And yes, his Dad forgot the Keys. Dad Ruins the Moment! Lol!

tasuku-sempai- Thanks so much! I wish I could update more often too . . . It'd be nice if ideas came faster, lol! And one chapter with Sora, coming right up! Yeay!

Xie- Aw, you don't like Kairi? Oh well! The hair I pictured her with was long, but it was straight until the bottom where it got wavy and . . . O.o I'm not good at decribing it! Unless I'm serious. XD lol! –Takes a magic wand and brings the rose to life, then gives it alchohal- And Drunk Rose! Lol!

Sky-Pirate-Tat- Thank you so, so much! I was wondering if anyone found it intense or not. O.o Yeay! –Hugs- Thank you so much for adding me to a C2! I feel special now. XD lol!

PERSON- lol! XD I dunno yet . . . I dunno!

**Forbidden**

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic

Chapter Four

"Here."

Riku only let his eyes glance up for a second to see a hand holding chocolate ice-cream. The dark cream melted off the cone and onto his fingers. He began to remember a time when Kairi and he always shared the same ice cream when they were younger, whenever their parents drove to the city. He frowned and looked away. "I don't want it."

Sora pouted and shoved the chocolate closer to Riku's face. _He_ paid for it. He was going to take it. "I don't care if you're hungry or not."

Not wanting to start another argument between the two Riku jerked the ice-cream out of Sora's hand, almost breaking the cone. He let it rest on his leg, and the blue-eyed boy frowned. He really wasn't eating it. He sat down on the bench next to the older of the two, licking away gingerly at vanilla.

It must have looked awkward to anyone, two boys sharing ice cream in the park. At least to him it was awkward. Everything was mostly city here, but this was the one relaxing place. If there was any spot to try and talk to the new neighbor, it would be here. Sora's face darkened with embarrassment and he averted his eyes. _'What is everyone else thinking?' _

"So," Riku began bluntly. Sora turned, his eyes wide with curiosity. It was the first time he had talked to him voluntarily. Before Sora had to practically drag him out of the door. "What do you want?"

"Well, I saw you crying," Sora replied subtly, remembering Riku's face when he opened the door himself. His skin was raw and his eyes were red. His heart sank as he remembered it. He knew something was wrong. He couldn't just leave him alone after that. He wasn't the type. "I thought you might want to talk about it."

"No."

" . . . Are you sure?"

"Why did you come back in the first place?" Riku asked. He let his ice cream drop on the sidewalk. It landed with a sickening thud, crackling at his feet. He felt the same. Like a breaking, ripping, melting splotch. _'A nothing.'_

"No real reason," Sora said. He shrugged. He didn't really have a reason. Once he delivered the papers, he was done. Might as well make a conversation with someone new. Even if he was a jerk. "I thought it would be nice to get to know the new neighbor or something."

"Well, sorry to dissapoint you."

Sora really wasn't sure what to say, but so far the conversation really wasn't going where he thought it was. He sighed, taking a bite out of his melting ice cream instead of licking it. His teeth chattered from the sudden cold. He should have expected this, but the second he saw Riku he just wanted to know him. It always happened, over and over. _'I hate this . . .'_

"Well . . ." Sora spoke softly, trying not to impose. He was mad, but he was going to keep friendly. Kill people with kindess, his Mom would say! This wasn't going to get him down. "Let's try it this way. I'll tell you something about me, and you can tell me something about you. Okay?"

"Bite me," Riku muttered, resting his elbow on the bench with his chin in his hand. He looked in the other direction. He couldn't see Sora's pout. _Now_ he was mad. Riku was just being difficult, and for no reason.

"_Fine_!" He said, tossing his icecream on the grass behind him. One hand gripped at his pants, keeping in his temper. He'll try this one more time. "I'll go first. I already told you my name is Sora. So . . . I'm sixteen, and I've lived here since I was four. Okay, you're turn."

It was his turn, but Riku didn't seem to be in the mood for participation. He didn't even move. He just stared out across the street in the other direction. Sora rolled his eyes. Just a brat, this guy was. Oh well, he tried. He stood up from the bench, putting his hands in his pocket andfeeling ready to walk away. "See you in another lifetime, asshole."

"You're sixteen?"

Sora stopped, his back still turned. He talked again? Of his own free will? Sora grinned as he hurriedly sat back down, his full attention on Riku. It worked! He knew his age would get him. It always did. "Yup, I'm sixteen. I look like I'm twelve or something, don't I?"

Riku turned his face, his eyebrow raised.An awkward smirk rose and Sora' heart fluttered. This guy . . . he was _gorgeous_. "You're actually proud of looking like a baby?"

"No, no, no," Sora taunted, pressing a finger on Riku's nose playfully, smiling. He already felt better. This was how he liked things to be. "I told you how this works; I say something, you say something."

Sora thought Riku was going to be a jerk again, with the way he frowned in an irritated manner. Something still made him looked charming, though. He was lucky; if he weren't new, he was sure he wouldn't get any attention from this guy! "Okay, fine. My name is Riku. I'm eighteen, and I've lived here since yesterday."

'_Funny too!' _Sora thought, chuckling a bit. But he couldn't try to talk to him in _that_ way. He was a pretty boy, but it didn't mean he was like _that_ either. Like himself. Better to start off friends . . . just friends. But who would want to be just friends with someone so attractive? "Very good, _Riku_. And anyways, yeah, I like looking like a baby. You get stuff whenever you want if you ask an adult."

"Cheapskate."

"Whatever gets me by."

'_This is good,' _Riku thought, actually laughing a bit. He hadn't laughed in weeks. It felt so good to really feel this way. Something in his chest glowed, like something was starting to clean out the tar that had been building up inside. Everything had been in there, unwilling. He tried here. In just minutes Sora broke the spell.

But the tar started to build up again as he thought of who he _used_ to laugh with. A pang in his chest squeezed hard at him. Kairi. Everything, no matter what he did, it would always go back to her. It didn't matter who he was laughing or crying with, smiling or frowning with. It didn't matter if he was even alone. Kairi was his world.

"Riku?" Sora asked, tilting his head to the side a bit. That spark he felt from Riku had quickly faded. It was there for only a split second. "What's wrong? Did I do something?"

At first there wasn't a response, and Sora thought he was being ignored again. But there was something to say, and he spoke as Riku abruptly stood up from the bench, avoiding his eyes. "I'm going home now."

"What? Wait, why are you-" Sora reached forward to grab Riku's arm and he felt a strange tensity rise between them. He was suddenly afraid of what Riku would look like if he turned his face towards him. He let go, and Riku didn't look back. He just walked on. _'I did something . . .'_

Watching, Sora felt his body tingle, but not of excitement or humiliation. He could feel it. It's happened before. It came when he was scared, even just a little. His lip would quiver, then it would spread to his whole body. He grabbed at where his heart was, breathing deep, heavy breaths.

Sora sat down on the bench again. He legs felt weak. His body shook and his hands slowly reached for one of his pockets. Nervously he glanced around to see if anyone was there. No one. He pulled out a small knife, then with his teeth he pulled off the sweatband he wore.

Across his small tiny wrist were long, thin scars, song long enough to reach from one side to another. Sora looked out again, his hand shaking with anxiety. He shut his eyes, holding his breath. _'Hurry, hurry, hurry . . . !'_

The moment he felt the cut he opened his eyes to see the blood. It bubbled out slowly. He heaved a sigh of relief and put the knife back in his pocket, smiling. The blood slowly dripped over the side, rolling off his skin and dripping on the sidewalk. He put on his sweatband again and stood up. _'I'm better now.'_

X x x x x x

O.O OMGosh Sora cuts himself. Noo! Poor kid. And he's gay! And I don't want to make this a shounen-ai fic. So . . . yeah! He has sadness too . . . And Riku's being a jerk. But he has the right to be! Actually, no he doesn't. This is a drama! Like Guiding Lights or General Hospital! But I've never seen those shows . . . lol!

And I beat Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories! –Dances- So I'm about halfway through Reverse/Rebirth mode now. I love it!

Hope you guys liked this chapter! (And the whole thing about Sora being gay and everything- this should help shounen-ai fans cope! It helps me too . . T.T lol!)


	5. Cutting

Well, here's the new chapter, even though it isn't much . . . Sorry! I was so surprised to get a few e-mails asking me to update. Is this story really that well-liked? I feel honored! Hopefully I can live up to everyone's expectations. And so many people rooting for Riku x Kairi! I'm so surprised!

Raesia Artist- Thanks very much! I'm really not sure of everyone's role in this story, but that does sound pretty smart. I'm just going with the flow here! Lol!

tasuku-sempai- Thanks! Yup, Sora has a few problems that sort of help him gain his part. I'm glad you like the Riku x Kairi pairing. Lol, I'm not sure what I'm doing yet!

Maiako Sandiku- lol, you're telling me! It's very diffcult to write, but mostly because I don't know what's going to happen next. I'm happy you enjoy it! Thank you!

YukKi- Thank you! And the answer to your question is yes, siblings can really love each other in a romantic way. I even know two siblings that were intimiate at one point in their life. From my experience, siblings fight more often when they're younger, and get along better when they're older. I have a sister and we're very close! Oh, and the anime you're talking about . . . could that be Angel Sanctuary?

Kana- Oh, but I already decided not to do that! I'm sorry . . . T.T Really!

LiLi-Sama- I know, wouldn't it? I only wish . . . Maybe for everyone who wants Shounen-ai I'll make a special 'AU' chapter between Sora and Riku once this story is finished. . . maybe? Lol!

Kia Saphia- Yeah . . . I have a friend who used to cut herself; I'm glad she stopped! It was mostly a book I read that helped me understanding sort of, 'The World of Cutting'. Maybe? I'm not sure! Anyways . . . thank you!

Xie- lol, I know what you mean! People who have something dark about them are always appealing, ne?

to lazy to log in...- Thanks! I'm still not sure what happens in the future of this story, except that it won't be a Riku x Sora coupling. And like I said to Yuuki, it is very possible for siblings to love each other romantically because I know siblings who do. XD Anyways, thank you for the review!

Sky-Pirate-Tat- lol, talking on and on is a good thing! XD Hmm . . . Riku does deal with his problems differently. I didn't notice that. XD lol! How can I say that! I'm the writer and I didn't even get _that_! T.T I don't deserve to write this fic . . .

**Forbidden**

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic

Chapter Five

"Sora!"

Sora's older sister greeted him with a tight hug around the neck the moment he walked in the door. Being young, he also lacked height, but she never acted like it was a problem. She was beautiful, with long chocolate hair and bright, friendly green eyes. She was older than him, much older. But he was okay with that; their age gap was what made them so close sometimes.

Out of more reflex than affection he hugged her back. He wasn't feeling well because of Riku. He hoped in his mind she wouldn't notice, but cringed when she backed away too soon. She noticed.

"What's wrong Sora?" she asked, giving her a sweet but concerning smile. Unconciously Sora stuffed both hands in his pocket, and like the observant young woman she was she saw that too. She reached for his hand and pulled it straight out. He pouted. _'Caught.'_

"It's okay Aerith," he told his older sister, hoping she wouldn't check under his sweatband. Her fingers lightly touched the his palm, her clear fingers tracing the lines embedded in his skin. He started to become nervous. She was someone who noticed everything. She would know he did it again. He started to become tense.

As her hand reached for the black sweatband to pull it off Sora jerked his hand away, looking up at her defensively. She frowned, but he could already tell she looked more hurt than anything. He didn't like to see her that way. "Sora, you . . . you cut yourself again."

Sora looked away. She had powerful puppy eyes. She knew it all. There were only two people who knew his secret, two people out of the millions of people who lived around him. He opened his mouth as if to try and find an explanation, to try anything. _'Say something, say something!'_

"I . . ." he started, but he stifled as another person walked to the front, out from the kitchen in the next room. He was even more nervous. It was Aerith's husband, his brother-in-law, with gorgeous blonde hair and sharp, cold blue eyes. He was the second person who knew. The moment they met eyes Sora's heart skipped. He looked down. That guy was always someone who was hard to look at.

Aerith turned around to meet eyes with her husband, who didn't appear the least bit interested. He looked almost as if it were routine. "Cloud . . .He did it . . ."

"Do you want me to talk to him?" Cloud asked. Her hands met at her chest as she turned to her younger brother, than back around. Her spiraled, curly dark hair spun with her. Slowly she nodded and he smiled. As he walked past her, stopping only in front of Sora, he smiled softly. "Come on, let's go."

"Okay," Sora muttered in a small voice, walking to the stairway. He was the first with Cloud behind him. He slid his hand on the railing, looking down at Aerith before her face dissapeard behind a great wall. He suddenly hated everything again. That look she gave him, the one that made it look like she cut herself and was in pain instead of him . . . he just hated it.

Sora sat down on his bed in his room, the very first door in the hallway. Cloud followed after, closing the door behind him. He sat down next to him. Sora' heart thumped in his chest, and he wondered if he was the only one who could hear it. One more thing he hated: talks.

Cloud sighed, throwing his head back to stare up at the ceiling and closing his eyes. "Alright then . . . tell me what happened."

"What are you talking about Cloud?" Sora asked, putting up one of his best smiles. It was cheesy. It was fake. He could tell.

"Don't pull that on me. Is it Leon again?"

Sora tensed. "Nope, nothing like that. I've gotten over everything like that."

Cloud pursed his lips and forcibly grabbed hold of Sora's arm. Sora flinched. Cloud's hands were strong. Hastily he pulled off the wristband, unconvering all of Sora's scars. There were so many that his skin had a tinge of pink instead of his normal tan.

Flinging the wristband across the bedroom like a slingshot, Cloud frowned. Sora didn't really get it. He was doing something playful, like his body was loose, but his voice was an ice cold that make him shudder. "Obviously you haven't gotten over everything. You keep cutting yourself like that and we'll really have to tell your Mom. You need to go to a treatment center."

Sora pouted and shook his head furiosuly, his anger rising up at that thought. "_No_! No way will I ever go to one of those places! People hate me at school enough for being gay." Cloud flinched visibly at the mention of it. Sora knew he was homophobic, but he didn't care. "People will start to think I'm crazy if I go to some sort of hospital for sickos."

"It's not a hospital for sickos," Cloud reassured, almost laughing a little. But just a little. The two weren't meeting eyes, but they both seemed to make it a job to look for the missing wristband across the room instead. It went behind the computer desk on the other side of the room. "I swear, it would help you. You're going to die if you keep this up."

There was a silence between them. If there was one thing Sora hated more than his anxiety, his sisters puppy face or talks it was silences. Actually, that led to anxiety. Anxiety led to cutting. He didn't want to cut now. Sora smiled, looking down at the carpet. _'Say something!'_

"So . . ." Sora started, trying to find a subject to change to. His hands went from his lap to his sides, gripping onto the bed as he lifted his body and balanced on his arms like an acrobat. He got tired and sat back on the bed. Cloud looked like he never even noticed. "How is Aerith?"

"About five months," Cloud said. Sora looked over to his brother-in-law and noticed him smiling softer than ever to himself. Sora's heart skipped again. He was always gorgeous, especially when he smiled, which wasn't too often. He was glad his sister found someone so good-looking. "She's actually starting to show. Just a little bit, but it's enough for me to notice when we-"

"_No_!" Sora shouted, sticking out his tongue and covering his ears. Cloud laughed at his brother. He was a strange kid for someone his age, that was for sure.

-

"Leon! Leon, what are you doing? Stop! _Leon_!"

Sora squeezed his fingers around his wrist, careful not to get the blood on his bed sheets. He didn't want his Mother to see it. Lately been had been cutting more often. Every single day, even twice a day sometimes. He licked the small wound with his tongue to stop the blood as he slid the knife underneath his pillow.

'_Why am I even still alive?' _he thought as he got out of his bed. He walked out into the hallway and into the bathroom. When he turned on the faucet he made sure the water was cold before holding his wrist underneath. _'But then again, I don't do it to die . . . I just do it.'_

-

Barely a day. It hadn't even been a full day and Riku couldn't stand not seeing Kairi. He had been forbidden to see her or speak to her at all costs, but why? It was eating him up, eating him apart minute by minute. Before he was sure he wouldn't be able to survive a week; now he confirmed he wouldn't survive even a day.

"Did you find a job?" his father asked. The two were sitting across their strange table in the middle of the living room. Riku was sure he was angry that he didn't bother to move anything while he was gone.

Riku shrugged. "No."

"Did you just sit here and mope all day?"

"No, believe it or not. I went outside to the local park with a little paper boy."

"And?" his father asked. Riku shrugged. What was he supposed to say?

"He got annoying, so I left."

His father's face seemed to stiffen.It almost looked angry, but he didn't speak. Riku looked off in the other direction. He heard a bit of shuffling and only glanced, noticing his father step into the kitchen and take out a small coffee cup from one of two cupboards.

His father came back with two warm cups within minutes. He placed one across the table. Riku didn't take it. It was coffeee. "Let's talk."

Riku frowned. He_ hated_ talks.

X x x x x

So yeah, Aerith is Sora's brother, and Cloud is the ever-so-cool brother-in-law. XD Yeay! And now you know that . . . well, you know what the chapter said. XD I'm not sure what to say here! Umm . . . How do people like Cloud and Aerith? Yeah, that's what I'll say! And Leon. XD He's in this story too . . . Okay! I hope you all liked it!


	6. Stopping

**New chapter! X3 Umm . . . Bon Appetite?**

Sky-Pirate-Tat- Yes! It was hard relating to that scene though. I love talks, especially with my mom! She talks to me like a best friend sort of thing, so I was always comfortabl with talks. X3 And I'm glad I'm writing this fic right for you!

LiLi-Sama- Well, now that I know what the flashback actually _is _. . . It should be having more details! Whne it comes I'm not sure though. XD lol! Thank you so much for being patient. Lol! Yes! We should have that! A parody or something . . . lol!

Maiako Sandiku- Hmm . . This story has a sort of close chemistry, but it's supposed to be purely platonic. X3 No Shounen-ai! Just a gay character, which influcences sort of his sector of the story. XD I'm happy you like it! Umm . . ways? I don't get why people cut either! But when I write I just sort of try to put myself in their shoes, plus I like reading stories like that. XD Read a book called Cut, by Patricia McKormick. It's very good! That was my inspiration. Lol!

**Forbidden**

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic

Chapter Six

Doorbell. _'Just ignore it . . .' _Again._ 'Ignoring . . .' _And again.

"God, _shut up_!" Riku shouted as he got off the couch. He threw the television remote across the room. It didn't break like he expected it too. He opened the door, and standing there was the same boy he had met the day before: Sora.

Riku glanced at his hand. He was wearing a white wristband today. It was on the same arm. "What do you want?"

Sora met Riku's impolite question with a glare, and before he said anything he reached into his pocket and pulled out a newspaper. He dropped it in retailiation, making Riku struggle a little to get it it since he wasn't exactly prepared. He caught it, but it still loked awkward. Sora sniggered. Riku didn't.

"Just giving you the paper, _asshole_," Sora emphasized. Riku remembered how this same guy was decently nice yesterday, or at least he tried to be. What was wrong with him now?

Not even giving a proper or cheerful goodbye like the first time he had delivered the paper, Sora turned around and looked like he was ready to head to the next apartment door. Riku's mind suddenly rememered last night, and the conversation he had. He hated talks, but it wasn't so bad. At least he didn't have pride anymore. He wouldn't have to worry about losing anything.

He grabbed the back of Sora's collar when he turned, pulling him and making him fall flat on the floor. Sora rubbed the back of his neck and turned his face. He was pouting now. "What was _that _for?"

"Get me a job," Riku demanded. Sora's expression went from angry to curious. "Paper boy or whatever, I don't care. Just get me one."

Sora didn't really mind doing what Riku asked, truth be told. He just didn't like the word choice. But all the same he was new and he figured it would be hard to look for something like that if you didn't know where to go. He pushed himself up and tried with best to give Riku a smile. Half of it was real.

"I won't give you my job," Sora said, "I've had it for two years. Weird, I know, but it's mine."

Riku gave him a strange look, through he wanted to laugh in Sora's face instead. What was he so worried about? He wasn't _that _determined. If he couldn't get a job today, he'd just tell his father he couldn't find one. He walked past Sora to outside and onto the outside hallway. "Not a big deal. Help me find one then."

"I've got to finish my rounds . . ."

"Like I care. They can wait for their mail."

Sora pouted, but he didn't protest.

-

Kairi's mother knocked on the door just a little bit before entering. She remembered the days when she was able to enter without any trouble at all, but those days were over. At least for a little while. She frowned at the thought. _'Riku . . . why?'_

Kairi was sitting on her carpet floor doing work, wearing an oversized shirt that reached her knees. If she was wearing shorts undeneath that, she couldn't tell. She looked up to her mother and the two exachanged awkward smiles. The two used to be very at ease around each other, but things quickly changed.

'_And as a mother,' _she thought, stepping in the room completely. _'It's my duty to be brave when my children are in trouble. I have to step up and try to work things out.'_

"Hey Mom," Kairi said in a soft voice, trying her best to smile. Truthfully she didn't want to smile. She felt horrible. Everyday she thought the same thing while tearing away at the bleeding skin on her fingers. Every single day. _'I just want to die right now.'_

"W-Well," her mother started, kneeling down so she was sitting in front of her daughter. She made sure not to make eye contact as she found new things to do. As she spoke she picked up Kairi's homework and arranged it nicely, making sure to keep everything in a neat pile while still marking the pages that were being worked on. "I thought that it's been a couple of weeks since we've done anything together. You know, girl stuff."

"Yeah . . ." Girl stuff. As in shopping, going to eat with just the two of them, maybe bringing a few friends for fun. They always made time for each other a long time ago, or at least it felt like a long time ago. She shifted and brought the knees she was sitting on to her face and she wrapped her arms around them. She was wearing loose boxers. "It really has been a while . . ."

Kairi's mother smiled, pulling her daughter into an empty hug. It wasn't returned. "I think it's time that you went somewhere. Staying here in this room won't change a thing . . . everything that's happened has happened."

'_So what's your point?' _Kairi wanted to say, though she held her tongue back. Didn't her mother get it? She was dead. Done. Too many things happened all at once and it all fired back. Just because everything that actually happened wouldn't be happening ever again didn't mean the feelings from then were gone. _'It just won't go away . . .'_

Kairi's mother pulled on her daughter even tigher, trying her best not to feel hurt from the lack of emotion she was receiving. No hugs, no kisses. This wasn't like her child at all. She frowned, lying her chin on Kairi's head so she wouldn't see the expression. Would they even be able to make it with everything that happened? Would they be able to recover? To change?

"Come on," she said, finally letting go and standing up. She smiled again, though the both of them knew it was as fake as could be. "We're going shopping. Be ready to go in twenty minutes!"

Kairi looked up, and gave her the same phony smile. "Okay."

-

Sora made this an oppurtunity to show Riku around the city. There were plenty of jobs with the strip malls and the buildings along the roads. The two would have driven, as they discovered they both had their license, but Sora didn't suggest it because finding parking spots were impossible.

"Besides," he told the taller of the two, "You look like someone who doesn't mind walking."

"I don't care . . ." he replied. He sounded funny while holding his nose, but he couldn't help it. This city stuff just didn't work for him. ". . .but this _air_. It smells like shit."

"I don't smell anything. It must be 'cause you're a country bumpkin."

"Shut _up_!"

Still, Riku was glad that he had someone to show him around. It was a Sunday so there were plenty of people around to ask, but he was always one to feel more comfortable talking to someone he had already been introduced to rather than not. He'd been called a charmer, but that didn't mean he enjoyed it.

But unfortunately not even Riku's charm nor Sora's adorable habit of changing his cute expressions worked on anyone in the city. As they stepped out of the buildings Sora swore were the last door and the 'lucky one', he sighed. He was actually sort of annoyed. Not really sort of. Very.

"I thought you said you could get me a job?" Riku snapped, glaring. Sora pouted in retailiation, walking ahead of the silver-haired young man to get away from his expression. He was a bit intimidated by it.

"I didn't," he replied simply. He locked his fingers behind his head as he walked. This was tiring. He wanted to go home. "You forced me to come with you, remember?"

"I wouldn't have done it if I knew you were so useless."

"Bitch."

'_I bet Dad will hate me even more now,'_ he thought, actually smirking. The situation was almost worth laughing at. He had only met one person here and it was clear to see that they hated him. But it wasn't his fault. He just wasn't likeable. Everyone hated Riku. That was the way things were supposed to be. "Don't you have a relative or something like that? I really need one."

"A relative . . .?" Sora said out loud slowly, more to himself. He couldn't really think of anyone that had much of a job. Aerith was a babysitter, and since Cloud went to college he could only have a part-time job at his father's work . . . "I got it!"

"You do?" Riku asked, the once fiercly irritated tone in his voice gone. "Where?"

Sora flashed a wide grin. He turned while gesturing his hand, telling Riku to follow him as he started into a run down the sidewalk. He spoke as they went along. "My brother-in-law's job has some openings; he works at the post office, but it's better then nothing, right?"

Riku raised an eyebrow even if the other couldn't see it. "Does your family have this paper boy gene in them or something?"

"Shut _up_! Does your family have this asshole gene in them or something?"

He should have been angry, but instead he laughed. "Maybe."

X x x x x

Well, another chapter. Sorry for it taking a while! And it doesn't have much to go with it either. XD But guess what? I have a plot in my head now! I've got all the noes for the story down, beginning to end. I know what's going to happen. _YES_! –Dances- lol!

I want Sora and Riku to be friends, but right now they're bickering so well. Sora curses more than I originally intended. Riku curses less than I originally intended. The irony! X3 lol! Hopefully everything will go on as I'm thinking it. Yes!


	7. Hate

New chapter! T.T This story is becoming difficult to write. Such a hard style! It's supposed to be sort of nondescript and working more to the characters than their surroundings, but gosh it's a toughie. XD lol!

LiLi-Sama- lol! You'll just have to wait and see what happened, though a few more hints are given in this chapter. XD Kinda. I'm so happy you're enjoying this! –Cheers- And nope, Riku's not coming out of the closet in this story. XD There is definitely dark homosexual elements in this story, but they don't involve Riku. That's sort of Sora's territory on this one. Lol:D

Sky-Pirate-Tat-Sighs dreamily- Ah, I picture him that way too. X3 lol! I dunno why I write him like that; he's a generally sweet and cutesy character, but he just curses. I don't even know why, really! Lol! XD It just happens when I write his dialogue. :D

kage-chan- Thank you so much:D I'm so glad you enjoyed it. And here it is, your update!

**Forbidden**

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic

Chapter Seven

Sora and Riku both stepped into the local post office, a little bell on the top of the door frame ringing as they entered. The brunet among the two hurried to the counter and pressed another bell since it was empty. When no one came, he shrugged and went behind it. When he reached a door behind his he looked to Riku and gestured for him to follow. He did.

"Cloud!" Sora called when they walked in. Riku assumed that was the brother-in-law that he had mentioned earlier, and when he called it only one person turned their head. It was a handsome blond-haired man with icy blue eyes that Riku met eyes with, and just for that second before they turned to Sora his body shivered.

'_Something about him,' _Riku thought, turning his glance away, _'I just don't feel comfortable.'_

That hardened face seemed to soften at Sora's smile and he approached the two, giving them a smile of his own. Over his shoulder was a huge bag, letters sticking out of the opening. He sat it down on the floor next to him and it made a loud thumping noise. A few envelopes sputtered from the top.

"What's up, Sora?" Cloud asked. Riku dared himself to look at him again, and this time he felt a great deal calmer. Even more so, he was curious. He watched where the blond was looking until it rested on Sora's wristband. He noticed how he always wore one, but now something about it seemed more. "Is something wrong?"

"No, not this time," Sora said leisurely. Riku tried to act nonchalant but paid attention. Something about this just seemed strange. Was he being sarcastic or serious? He couldn't tell. "Anyways . . . this, uh, _friend_ of mine really needs a job to pay for his apartment. He's new here."

Cloud looked to Riku with a sort of disgusted expression, annoying him. What did _he_ do? With the way he noticed people always looked at him he'd swear something was written all over his face. He _hated_ the way people looked at him like they already knew him.

"A _friend _. . . right."

Sora seemed to understand something Riku didn't and laughed it off a bit while shaking his head. "No, Cloud! I was being serious! It's not like that, really . . . I don't think you have to worry about being hit on at work."

'_Okay,' _Riku thought, _'What the hell did I just miss?'_

"I hope so," Cloud muttered, shrugging. He gave Riku one last strange look before picking up the mail bag again. "I don't make the decisions here, so just go talk to the boss about it. I think we have an opening somewhere or something."

Sora smiled, a red tinge coming to his cheeks that was so slight the other two didn't even notice. He was glad it was that way. He didn't want to cause any trouble at the moment. "Thanks, Cloud. You're the best."

"Sure."

Sora pointed to a door and said something to Riku about going in there, as if he knew the entire place by heart already from simply being there so many times. Riku nodded like he was listening, but something else was occupying his mind entirely. For once he wasn't thinking of how he wanted to go home, how he wanted to see Kairi, or how much it sucked to be away from Kairi.

'_First, it's that stupid wristband,' _Riku thought. That might not be as big of a deal as he was making it out to be, but it was one of those feelings. He was always one to go with his instincts. _'Then there was that conversation . . . Sora's a pretty interesting guy.'_

Kairi didn't really bother to change in anything different than what she had before. She had come downstairs in her same clothes, but her mother laughed in that fake tone of hers and decided to help her get dressed. Part of her knew her mother was annoyed but didn't want to show it. Part of her knew she was depressed that she just didn't change. She could just tell.

In the end she kept the heavy shirt and put on a pair of Riku's old baggy jeans. She personally didn't care that they were his or that they had massive holes in them; they were clothes and they were the only pants she had in her drawers. Putting them on she realized how much of a skank she must have looked like, wearing short skirts in the middle of the winter.

"Oh, Kairi," her mother said as they walked along the hallway of the local mall. She stopped her daughter and licked the end of her thumb, wiping at her cheeks and them brushing away some of her hair. It was still a mess, but it couldn't be helped; Kairi didn't want to get it cut properly. "You just had a little bit of smudge on your face. It's gone now."

"Thanks," Kairi replied absentmindedly. Her mother continued to talk about things they used to do when they did their 'girl stuff'. It was work, friends, the latest news and fun gossip. She only partly listened, staring out at the different clothes in the windows. She wasn't really looking at them like she made it seem; she had more on her mind.

'_I remember when Riku and I always went to the mall,' _she thought, smiling so small that no one could have possible noticed. Her hand glided on the railing and she looked down at the first floor below her. It would be a long fall if she jumped. _'Tidus would come too, before he died. And Yuffie and Selphie would come. Not during the dates when we did girl stuff, but just the hang-out stuff.' _

She couldn't really think of a better name. Her mind was too tired. She turned her head when she heard her mother calling her and she found her mother pointing to an outfit behind a window. It was a small, cream colored coat with a matching skirt and a white tank top. She didn't really find any interest in it, which surprised even herself. She normally would spend every last penny and even some of her friends' dollars for something so cute. _'Once again I'm reminded of how much I wear those stupid skirts.'_

"Kairi?"

Kairi paused, her body frozen. She recognized the voices from school, and she knew that today she wasn't as confident as she had been on the last day she actually went to school. She looked behind her, seeing three boys. They were all her friends, all there on that night. She remembered them being with her before things went fuzzy. She didn't bother to try and remember that part. She really didn't want to.

"Hey," Kairi said, turning her body and waving to them a bit. She tried to manage a smile, but she imagined it looked horrible with such chewed lips. She shouldn't have even bothered raising her hand. There practically weren't even any nails to paint any pretty colors. The three boys exchanged glances, even scowling a bit. With her hair unwashed and everywhere and her skin oily and shiny, she looked horrible compared to the perfect doll from before.

"Damn, you look . . ." one of the three started, trying to carefully place his words. After a moment of silence, he chose. "Different."

"Oh, really?" she replied, as if it were a lie. She really couldn't stand being right there then. _'Just die, die, die! Slip and fall over the balcony or something. Maybe a shooting will happen. Come on . . . Anything is better than this humiliation.'_

None of them spoke, an awkward silence filling their little circle. No one knew what to say. Instead, Kairi took the initiative. "Well, I'm gonna go hang out with my mom now. You know, girl stuff."

They seemed to go along with it. The middle one spoke. "Uh . . . yeah! Sure. Have fun, Kairi. See you later."

"Sure."

She turned around to walk to her mother when she heard the three of them snigger, snorting as if they were getting it all in. Now she really wanted to die. Just for anyone to come and kill her now. She wasn't brave enough to do it herself.

Riku stepped out of the office, surprised to see Sora waiting there. Almost. He was in a swivel chair spinning in the middle of a busy hallway, interrupting human traffic. Riku stuffed his hands in his pockets and put out his foot to stock the chair in its tracks, in which Sora pouted. Somehow that just didn't work on him.

"Stop that," Riku said, standing on his two feet again. "You look like a stupid twelve-year-old."

"Don't you remember me saying I liked being treated like a twelve-year-old?" he replied, giving him a puppy face like he was in trouble. It still wasn't working.

"Well, now that I know you're the same age as me I'm creeped out by it, so knock it off."

"Asshole."

But in the end Sora did agree, and he stood up and pushed the chair back in its rightful place before approaching Riku again. "So, how did it go?"

For once in a rare occasion, Riku grinned. "I start tommorow."

X x x x x

Let it be known that I have never stepped into a true-blue post office behind the scenes in my life, and so I have no idea how a real post office works! XD Just imagine that they have giant letters and they sort them all by hand, then they give them to the mailman and he sends them off. Yeay! That's what I'm guessing anyway. Lol!

And more of Kairi. T.T Poor her! I wasn't actually interested in her character in the beginning of the story, but now she's becoming the most interesting to me; I want to write about her more, but this is supposed to be about Riku and Sora's friendship-ness:P Where has the plot gone? Lol!

I'll try . . T.T I will, really! Thank you so much everyone!


	8. Leaving

**O.O An update! Read my profile thingy if you wanna know more. XD And sorry for this chapter! It's shorter than usual, and I didn't edit it. XD**

LiLi-Sama- No, don't worry! You didn't miss anything. But I'm happy you caught that detail though. :D It should come into play later!

Sky-Pirate-Tat- Well, not quite. But she might as well be! She just doesn't really care about her appearance anymore . . . Maybe she really will be a total goth someday! She just doesn't dress it. :P

cobra-2k- Thank you very much! Sorry for the long wait on the next update. I really touched a vein? What a saying:D I'm happy you enjoy it so much, and I really hope I get it finished too.

Kage-chan- Thanks:D Yeay for the happy-baker dance! XD lol!

Kia Saphia- Wow, seriously? Thanks so much! XD Kairi is my favorite character to describe in this fanfic, so that makes me really happy.

AlexX- lol, thanks:D I'm glad you like this sor far . . . It's immersing? Wow! I hope it stays that way.

**Forbidden**

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic

Chapter Eight

Riku's father figured it was about time to leave. It had barely been a week since Riku began working and it had barely been two weeks since they have been staying in their apartment. Still, they were both relieved he was going. The tension of being around each other made their lungs suffocate.

His father already had the last bag in the back of the taxi by the time Riku had come back from his job at the post office. The two stared for only a moment then turned away. They both frowned to themselves. They just wanted it to be overwith.

"Dad," Riku muttered in a low voice. He sounded almost ashamed to be speaking. ". . . Say hi to Mom for me if it wont make her cry."

"I have a feeling it will," Riku's father replied bluntly. He sounded just as ashamed. He pushed down the trunk and turned to the car. His voice sounded cold as he spoke. "What you did . . . is complicated. I will bear it; you're my son. But your mother and Kairi . . ."

The both of them were locked in silence. A deafening pressure rose between them, the same kind they had felt for as long as Riku could remember since . . . it almost felt like forever.

Riku gulped as his father reached for the handle. His eyes glanced between the car and his father's face. His heartbeat palpitated rapidly and his mouth became dry. Why this all of a sudden? He was glad they were out of his life. His mother, his father . . . _'Kairi . . .'_

"Dad," Riku said again, repeating it louder once he watered his throat. The dead look his father gave him left him unable to figure out what to say. He had words, but he wasn't sure how to say them. It was al there in his head. The letters to speak, the images in his head. . . . they just wouldn't come out. He hated this feeling.

"What is it?" his father asked. Riku looked away. He felt small.

"What if I said . . . What if I said things weren't what they seemed? That it was all a misunderstanding?" _'That's right, these are the words.' _ Riku looked to his father, the questions suddenly coming up almost innocently. "What would you say?"

Oddly enough it didn't take his father long to answer. He was taken aback, but he replied simply. "Do you . . . love Kairi?"

"Y . . . Yeah. Without a doubt."

His father looked disturbed, as if he hadn't ever heard of it before. But it seemed to confirm both of their questions. He opened the door to the taxi and only nodded before closing the door behind him. The car drove off with a spurt until it was on the city road and gone. Riku didn't even bother to wave.

Sora opened the door to the room where the pose office was, behind the desk. He poked his head in and glanced around until his eyes came across Cloud. His face tainted itself with a small shade of pink but despite being nervous he let himself in.

Cloud noticed him and stopped, putting a large bag down on the floor and smiling softly. He glanced down as Sora's arm out of habit and frowned. It was behind his back.

"Sora," he started seriously. The boys head jerked up as if he were surprised. Cloud looked around to see if anyone in the office was really listening. No one. He turned back to Sora. "Did you do it again? This is really becoming a problem . . . you're doing it way to mu-"

"No, it's not that," Sora interrupted. He held up one hand from behind his back defensively and gave a bit of an awkward smile. He took his other hand from behind his back and wrapped in between his fingers was a small bouquet of flowers.

Cloud instantly understood and his eyes seemed to look far off as he remembered. An image of someone passed though his mind and he knew Sora was thinking the same thing. "Leon's death . . . his anniversary . . ."

Sora smiled, but it was sad. "Yup."

The two of them stood together in the walkwat of the office, not sure of what to say. Cloud looked to see Sora's eyes downcast to the floor and he put on a comforting hand on his shoulder. Sora didn't glance up. "Do you want me to come to his grave with you?"

Another pause. Then an answer. "Uh-huh."

Cloud smile weakly and pulled away from Sora only slightly and reached into his pocket, pulling out a cell. "Don't worry, I'm with you. I've got to call Aerith and tell her . . . Do you want her to come along too?"

Sora looked like he was taking a moment to think about it, then he shook his head. "No . . . not really."

"That's okay."

Sora heard Cloud dialing the buttons and the mutterings of their conversation in the back of his mind. Still, he couldn't really pay attention. Even if it _was_ Cloud, the one person whom he'd listen to every syllable he uttered if he could, he couldn't pay full-well attention. Today was Leon's day. Even if he wasn't really there.

X x x x

Well, it wasn't as long as I had planned, but it ended up being a little shorter because th next scene is longer and I didn't want to do too many pages. XD I dunno why! Lol!

Hopefully I haven't lost any readers since I haven't updated in a while . . . I haven't stopped! I was cut off! Honest!


	9. Memory

**Finally up to speed on this story too! No more hiatus. XD I didn't take specific notes on this story, but I have the general outline and the high points. And, since this is supposed to be a short story, I guess there'll be a lot of 'OMGosh!' points too. XD lol!**

**Forbidden**

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic

Chapter Nine

Kairi opened the door to her room just enough to be able to look in the hallway. Nobody. Her mother was downstairs cooking a meal feverishly, excited that finally her husband was coming home. For her, in just a few hours, or more like seven, he would walk through the door and they could be a family again.

'_Yeah right,' _Kairi thought, stepping into the hallway and walking into the room across it. Somehow the thought of them sitting at a table, all smiles on their faces and laughing made her chuckle coldly. She barely even realized it. _'Like that crap will ever happen.' _

The room she walked into was wide, empty, and cold. The skin exposed on her neck prickled and she pulled her oversized sweater closer to her nape. She felt the oil caking her body and she outwardly grimaced, but on the inside she still wasn't motivated enough to get a bath. What were a few pimples anyway? _'Stupid girls always worrying about their skin.'_

Kairi sat down at the very corner, the darkest and furthest from the door she had closed behind her. The hardwood floor made no sounds under her bare feet and there she crouched, her knees drawn to her chin. She leaned her head against the white wall, closing her eyes. Only breathing in she could smell him.

'_It's so weird,' _she thought, _'It almost feels like you're here, right now Riku . . . I could open my eyes and I'd be sitting on your bed in the corner, and you'd be smiling and playing your dumb video games with Tidus. Laughing, having a good time . . .'_

She brought in the scent further, suddenly feeling nostalgia. She almost felt a heavy welling in her stomach and her teeth bit down on her slip slightly. She felt weird. With everything that had happened, she missed him. Missed Riku.

She didn't just miss him. She missed it all. Riku, Tidus, Yuffie, Selphie, Mom, Dad- all of them used to smile. All of them were happy together. She rubbed her hands against her eyes, her bone-thin fingers curled into her palm. Her eyes stung and they were red.

'_I hate things like this,' _Kairi thought, more memories coming through. She felt so weak right now- she always felt weak, but now even more so she felt like she couldn't do much. She was trapped, remembering all the things and all the times when she was so, _so_ happy. When everyone was happy.

Kairi pulled herself together and stood up. She walked across the wide empty room to the door. She wasn't really sure how long she had been in there, but it seemed like forever. Walking to the door felt like it took a long time too. She closed the door behind her and listened to her mother. She was humming.

Once she was out the nostalgia left her. The smell was gone, but a shock ran through her as she suddenly remembered the _taste_. Her body froze as she cupped a hand over her mouth. Why did she want everything back to the way they were before? She _hated _Riku!

She didn't bother to go to her room. She suddenly felt sick to her stomach. She ran for the bathroom.

Riku decided to go for a walk to clear his mind. It was late afternoon, but the sun was still up. The sidewalk was crowded with people coming home from work and school, but he brushed by them, more important thoughts running through his head.

Alone. He was fully, ultimately alone. Down and gone. Forever forgotten. With his father out of the way there was no one else in the world to bicker or bother him, or drown him in silence. He sat down on a bench. He had ended up at the park, right where he had talked with Sora not so long ago. It was the only place that felt remotely like home.

Riku relished in the clear, clean air of the park, closing his eyes and remembering home. For him the city was already unbearable; the air was dirty and the people were rude. He still hadn't registered into a school to finish off his senior year but he wasn't looking forward to doing it.

'_There's only a couple people here,' _Riku thought, sitting upstairs on the bench. The sunlight through the leaves refused to let him rest and relax and they agitated his eyes. _'They're okay . . .'_

"Do you want something to eat before we go?"

Riku's ears perked up but he didn't open his eyes. He remembered that from from work. Cloud. He was a nice guy, one of the 'couple of people' that he found okay. He didn't talk a lot but he helped him around when he needed it so far. That and every once in a while they would hold an actual conversation. But, by doing that they also learned each other's touchy subjects that made things more awkward than they had to be.

"Sure, why not? Let's get something for Leon, too."

Riku open his eyes. The voice that answered happened to be Cloud's touchy subject, and the only thing he and Riku had in common with each other.

They were both standing at one of the those carts in the park; Riku couldn't really tell if they were at a food cart of an ice cream cart. Cloud was ordering but looking back, smiling softly as the two talked. Riku didn't know what they were saying anymore. Sora looked anxious but he was still smiling, and when he turned his head, their eyes met.

"Riku!" Sora called, waving the hand with the bouquet. When a petal fell from the flowers he ignored Riku, checking to see if they were okay. When he was finished he waved his opposite hand. "Hey, what's up?"

Riku didn't feel like yelling so much as Sora did. He didn't want to ignore Sora either; that would just be rude. Besides, the two of them were sort of friends. He never saw him at the post office much since Sora had school but he always saw him in the morning when he delivered papers.

He was a lot friendlier than Cloud, but at the same time every nice conversation they had always ended up with him stomping away from the apartment with a pout. Riku stood up and walked over, a small smile on his face. He honestly didn't mind talking to Sora, even if they argued. He gave a small nod to Cloud. He nodded back.

"I'm fine," he finally replied. It wasn't really true. He just didn't feel like explaining about his father to anyone, so he gave a playful grin. "And you, shorty?"

Sora frowned at the words, something that just wasn't the least bit intimidating. "I'm not short, I'm average. And besides, haven't you heard that dynamite comes in small packages?"

"Really small packages, in your case."

Sora stuck out his tongue. "I _hate_ you!"

"Knock it off," Cloud said, turning around. He had three ice cream cones, two in one hand and one in the other. He handed the chocolate one to Sora, who was careful not to let them on the flowers. Cloud looked to Riku. "Leon doesn't really need ice cream . . ." He looked to Sora, who glanced at him questioningly. "Do you want to give it to Riku instead?"

"No way," Sora muttered. "He's not gonna eat it. He hates ice cream."

"I do no-" Riku stopped. A familiar feeling of déjà vu came inside him. It was barely over a week ago, but it was when he met Sora and they had gone to this park. It was the second time he was reminded of it today. _'I guess that's where he got the whole ice cream thing from.' _

Riku shrugged. Who cares if they knew whether he liked ice cream or not, now that he thought about it. That was stupid. "It's okay, I don't want any." He was curious. "Who's Leon?"

Both Cloud and Sora looked at each other. After the same pause they both opened their mouths to speak, then they both shut. Cloud stayed silent and Sora took the lead. "He's my older brother, and he was Cloud's old best friend. Do you want to go meet him?"

'_Was?' _Riku didn't have anything better to do. He nodded. "Sure . . ."

X x x x x

I feel like I was more descriptive in this chapter than usual with this story, like I was slipping back into my old style. XD Still, I like how this turned out! Poor Kairi. –Hugs- She's so depressed she doesn't know what to do with herself. T.T

And Riku's changing! Remembering in the beginning of the story when he didn't care if he was being rude to Sora? And this time he does care! And he's curious about Leon. So, he wants to learn about someone else, he's just not willing to talk about himself. Alright!

Sky-Pirate-Tat- -Hugs- Thank you so much! I try to capture emotions as best as I can, especially since this is supposed to be a drama-story. XD I'm glad you're happy with it so far!

Kage-chan- lol! XD Well, now that I'm off hiatus I can update again! –Dances- Alright! XD XD XD

Kia Saphia- lol! XD No, I haven't seen that movie. But, I already have an idea of how I want to story in the end. I think it'll be a fitting ending, anyway. XD I hope! Let's just get there first. . . . XD

defuckt- I'm a lazy bum? Why? Well, anyway, thank you for the compliment on my writing!


	10. Gravestone

**Forbidden**

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic

Chapter Ten

Riku found that Sora and Cloud were in the park because they were half-way to a cemetery. There was a long walkway that most people didn't really go through because it was so covered by trees that they couldn't see the sky, but that's where the three were going to go. Sora lead the way until they were out the other side of the park, then he slowed to walk next to Riku.

This was a part that Riku was half impressed with and half disgusted with. He never realized there was such a large wood nearby the city, but it looked dead, like it didn't belong there. They walked along a long strip of road, passing a gas station until the woods had another path for them walk through, a long, dirt one.

Eventually Riku spotted a large cross hanging in the sky that connected to a steeple. The steeple was flaked and old, and then that connected to a small church that Riku could swear looked at least a hundred years old. He scowled as he glanced at the rotting wood on the front of the building. He couldn't resist asking. "Does anybody even _go_ here anymore?"

"We _would_," Cloud started, "But no one's raised any money to put it together again. It's actually pretty nice on the inside, but most people go to the other better ones. This one's just old. Mom wants to fix it up though."

Sora smiled at that. "Yeah, it's on her to-do list to bug all the neighbors into helping." He turned to Riku, who had stopped right before the church for only a moment to look at the cemetery at its right. He was counting the tombstones in his mind, trying to see if he could make a hundred. So far he was half way. "Riku, are you religious at all?"

"Used to be," he replied absentmindedly. _'Sixty-four, sixty-five, sixty-six . . .' _

"Used to be?"

"I'm an atheist now." Sora and Cloud both glanced at him for only a second, and then they started walking on towards the cemetery. They decided not to ask another question about it, and Riku was still counting, but he tried to separate other thoughts at the same time. _'I guess religion is important to them . . . Ninety-eight, ninety-nine . . . . Crap, they're one short.'_

As far as he could see, anyway. Even if the church was small he still couldn't see behind it.

Sora took the lead again and Cloud followed, then Riku lagged behind as they walked down the rows. Sora glanced down at the tombstones, looking down at their names at checking for the right row. Eventually near the center row they crossed in, walking along until they came in front of a certain one. Sora kneeled in front of it while Cloud and Riku stood back.

Most of the tombstones were elaborated, but not this one. It was barren, with weeds and yellow grass growing around it. It was a round tombstone with cracks and chippings through and through. He wasn't religious anymore, but it was still degrading to Riku. He actually respected the dead.

'_So, Leon is dead,' _ Riku thought. It was obvious to him when he made it to the church, but to read the name 'Squall Leonheart' on the tombstone, it felt like it had been more of a confirmation. He wasn't sad; he didn't even know Leon. He was just curious why they called them that instead of his real name. _'That's just dumb.'_

Sora turned to Cloud who gave him the melting ice cream. He placed it like a baby in a cradle in between the long blades of grass, quietly licking some of the strawberry from his fingers. The ants were already peeking out onto the cone. They were going to have a feast.

"Leon's my big brother," Sora repeated. Riku knew he was talking to him and listened intently. For some reason his tone just made it sound important. "But he committed suicide six years ago . . . His girlfriend Rinoa died in a car accident too. They were gonna get married, so when she died . . . he wanted to die too."

"I . . . I see . . ." Riku replied in a small voice. A sad aura seemed to fall around all of them. But at the same time, Riku found something in common with this guy he barely even knew. _'Their lives fell apart . . . nothing made it worth being alive anymore.'_

Sora put the flowers on top of the ants and the ice cream. A mesh sounds could be heard, but no one paid any attention. Sora clasped his hands together and bowed his head prayer. Riku noticed Cloud do the same thing, so he did it as well, even if it didn't mean anything.

After that Sora stood up and smiled. "I gotta pee. Hold up for me, okay?"

Riku also loosened up momentarily. He grinned. "Don't get it all over yourself."

"Oh, just shut up!"

When Sora ran toward the church, the awkward silence returned. Cloud and Riku both stared down at the grave, the grass so tall they could barely read Leon's name. The silence reminded Riku of the moment's he was with his father and for a split second, his respect for Cloud diminished. It returned with realization when he spoke.

"I think there are a few gaps needed to be filled," Cloud said, and Riku looked up to him. His stare was somber. Riku didn't exactly understand. "Most people in Sora's- _our_ family, are very religious, so they look down on Leon for committing suicide. Sora always looked up to his older brother. And what's more . . ."

"What's more?" Riku repeated. He was suddenly feeling anxious.

Cloud looked like he was uncomfortable with what he wanted to say, opening his mouth partly to speak, then closing it again. Finally he said it. "Sora feels he caused Leon's death."

Riku stared at Cloud in skepticism. He was waiting for him to laugh and say it wasn't a joke, but he already knew that Cloud wasn't the type to be that stupid. Sora . . . Sora was such a _kid_. No way did he ever go through worse. Was it worse? Suddenly feeling alone, and being responsible for it . . . Sora knew it? That feeling?

Cloud abruptly turned from grave to disturbed, bringing Riku out of his trance. He looked like he was remembering something and in a panic. As he looked over to the church his body tensed. "_Shit_."

"What?"

"We've gotta go!"

X x x x x

So, how was this chapter? I'm sorry not much happened here, but I still find that it's okay. XD Maybe? I hope! A little bit more on Leon here, and how it affect Sora and all that great jazz. Yeay for drama! –Waves a little flag- I hope you all enjoyed it. : )

Kage-chan- You know what? That idea never once crossed my mind, but I wish I did it! That would be even better than what I have now, if you ask me. XD I'll need to consult with you guys next time I write a drama! Lol:D

Kori Tenshi- -Does the whole genie and Alladin thing- Your wish is my command! Hey! They had Alladin in Kingdom Hearts . . . how cool is that? XD XD XD

Sky-Pirate-Tat- lol! I've been there before. XD –Hugs- Thank you!

Chibi Tanny- XD Sorry . . . I usually write three, maybe four pages of this story because I write so many stories at once. I'll try to write them longer sometimes though!

Amethyst Blossom- Yes, he is! More and more he'll understand and adapt, change and everything . . . At least, I hope. XD lol! –Hugs- I'm glad you like this story!


	11. Reveal

**Forbidden**

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic

Chapter Eleven

Cloud didn't bother to explain. He ran towards the church in a rush, a panic in his eyes. In the short time Riku knew him he already had the feeling that Cloud always kept his cool, no matter how bad the situation was. Seeing how afraid he looked before turning into the church made him nervous. He decided to run after him.

Cloud jumped the entrance stairs to the double doors and slammed them open, an echo protruding throughout the entire room. Riku followed and stood behind him, not exactly sure what was happening. They both were stopped right there, right before all of the benches and staring right up at the first row before the pedestal. Sitting right there was Sora. His face was away from theirs.

"What?" Riku asked. He was somehow angry, annoyed. There he was! Sora was right there, in front of them. No pressure. What was there to worry about? Riku looked up to Cloud, who was standing next to him at the doorframe, that same anxious expression still on his face. That unsettled face made his stomach churn.

Finally Cloud spoke. Sora did not turn his head. "Riku, if you could just . . . wait outside?"

Riku frowned. That's _not_ what he wanted to hear, of all things. He started forward towards the front row of the church, ignoring Cloud and his words. There was nothing. Nothing! "No I won't. I want to know what's going on!"

If Cloud protested after that, Riku didn't hear it. The anger was turning into the same sort of anxiety he was sure that Cloud had felt and may still have been feeling; only there was an empty space there, and difference. Riku didn't know the problem, while _he _did.

His insides were starting to melt. His steps were long, but somehow the first row still seemed far away. Questions of doubt were running through his head. '_What the hell am I doing? What am I getting into? What is Sora . . .?_'

Right now Riku was imagining that Sora was smiling, just as he always did. Whenever they talked, it was either that or his baby pout, and he had yet to do something today that made Sora upset enough to do that. Then abruptly there was a mental break in his mind. Sora stopped smiling. _'What's he hiding?' _

But when Riku reached out his hand he couldn't turn that shoulder around. He couldn't see his face, but there was Sora's arm resting in his lap. Fresh cuts ran across his wrist and bright red blood dripped onto the seat and soaked into his clothes. His other hand was shaking violently- Riku realized nearly his whole body was- and he was squeezing the veins tighter, letting more of the liquid slink onto the surface.

Sora finally turned his face to see Riku he was crying.

"Sora!" Cloud said loudly, hurrying to the front. He went past Riku and kneeled in front of Sora, taking his wrist in his hand and looking at it thoroughly, not caring that the blood was smearing on his fingers. It seemed almost routine; he was acting like Riku wasn't even there. "Geez, I knew you would do this again . . . Leon just had to go and get you started on this."

"Leon?" Riku questioned. This was connected? "What does that have to do with him? Sora . . . Sora just _cut_ himself! What's _wrong_ with him?"

Riku found himself breathing harshly, as if he was the one who cut himself and was feeling weak. He was still mad. He wasn't mad at anyone; he just felt that way. Riku _never_ cut himself or hurt himself, no matter how bad things got in his life. What could be so bad that someone like Sora would do it?

Cloud opened his mouth to speak but he didn't even have to ask. Riku turned away and stomped out the door, almost fearing the sight and what his anger might do if he let too much out. The double doors to the church shut so loud the sound vibrated through the room. Cloud went right to work. He took the wristband next to Sora on the bench and pressed it against the cuts, waiting until it was completely soaked.

"This is really too much," he said to Sora in a worried and at the same time stern tone, putting the wristband aside. He started searching through his pockets. "Sora, you can't solve your anxiety problem like this. You've have to try something else."

Sora pulled his arm away from Cloud gently and began to lick away at the dried blood that crusted over his skin, looking completely unaffected by the sickness of it all. Cloud grimaced, but he realized that with nothing in his pockets he didn't have much else to do. He took of his shirt and pulled Sora's arm back to him, away from his mouth, quickly wrapping it around. Cloud's eyes seemed after that, but Sora knew better. "Are you feeling sick or anything?"

"Sick?" Sora repeated. He shook his head. Why sick? He was feeling much better. "Like, faint or anything? No . . . I think I'm just used to it."

Cloud frowned at the comment and Sora took the opportunity to wipe his tears away with his other arm. Most were dry and sticking to his cheeks, but the rest smeared along with a bit of blood. When he put his arm down, he momentarily looked at Cloud then averted his eyes. Of all things he thought of, he had to take off his _shirt_ . . . His brother-in-law was really too handsome. He fought the red that was trying to tinge his cheeks.

"Sorry," Sora said in a small voice. Cloud opened his eyes and looked up. He was still kneeling. "I know it's a messed up habit, but . . . it's really hard to stop. I'm addicted."

Cloud understood and at the same time, at a deeper level, he was confused. "Does cutting yourself feel _that _good?"

Sora paused movement as he faced the side of the church, not really observing anything but thinking briefly. He softly smiled. "Yeah . . . I guess it does. And it isn't just the feeling I get, how everything suddenly feels better after I do it. " Sora rethought what he said.

"What else is there?" Cloud asked. Sora shrugged.

"I don't know."

Cloud smiled sweetly. He wasn't even sure why, but somehow he felt a lot better. He stood up, lightly kissing Sora's forehead and pulling him into a tight, familial hug. "You're my little brother . . . I worry about you. Please, whenever there are any problems, come to me next time. Or Aerith. Okay?"

"S . . . Sure." Feeling Cloud's skin made the heat in his body rise so high he could swear the church was on fire. But he was going to ignore it as best as he could; he wasn't going to bother Cloud with _that_ problem. Sora pushed away, chuckling a little. "If you worry this much over a brother, you'll be in denial when Aerith has the baby."

"Yeah, seriously."

"Honey! You're back!"

"Yes . . . the traffic was a little much, but it feels good to be home."

"Is everything . . . taken care of?"

"I think it's as solved as it's going to get . . . Hey, is that dinner I smell?"

"Yes!"

Kairi listened to the muffled voices from her room. For the first time in weeks, her mother sounded like she was happy, with not a single care in the world. There was a ring, a tone to her voice that was uplifting and like how she used to be. Kairi hadn't heard it in forever. It gave her chills.

Kairi heard footsteps coming up the stairs and she closed her eyes. She was lying in her bed, trying her best to fall asleep to let time pass. She felt like it was something she always did lately, since nothing else was interesting anymore. No more school, no more friends, no more life. She gave up in doing her homework.

The footsteps became louder and louder, more intruding, and she knew just where they were headed. They were unbearable. She didn't want to smile, she didn't want to welcome him home or celebrate her father finally being home. She just wanted to fall asleep! Was that too much to ask?

The door to her bedroom opened and suddenly she was even more wide awake than she was before. She just couldn't do it; she still had too much energy to waste before she could finally shut herself out. She looked up to her father, and his soft green eyes and his calm smile made her smile back. It was small -and fake- but better than nothing.

X x x x x

Thank you everyone for your wonderful reviews! I would comment back, but I did and then my computer froze and erased all my long commenting and replies. Forgive me! I hope you'll all review this chapter as well. XD Thank you so much for your support and encouragement through this story! It makes me so proud.


	12. Dinner

**Forbidden**

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic

Chapter Twelve

Riku was quiet as he listened to the clanking silverware and the sharp, piercing echo that produced. Right here he felt very out of place and different. Sitting to the left of him was Cloud, who also seemed to adjust to the silence like he had, and his wife. He couldn't exactly remember her name at the moment even if Cloud always talked about her at work, but he figured it wouldn't matter so much. To the right was their mother, or more like Sora and his sister's mother.

It was insisted by Cloud that he should come over to dinner, which he figured was because he wanted to explain the whole mess of things that had just happened earlier that day. Truthfully, he wanted to say no; he always felt like he was diving too deep, getting too close. He hated this feeling of constant anxiety around people, and being in their own home somehow made it worse.

"So," Cloud's wife began, settling her fork down and looking to Riku with a soft smile. For the first time he really noticed how pretty she was, and she had a soft, feminine voice too. "You're Riku, am I right?"

"Yeah," he replied calmly, trying not to let his nervousness show. He was ready to start any kind of conversation. Anything to get away from this deafening silence. "Cloud talks a lot about you. You're going to have a baby soon, right?"

"Yeah!" Both she and Cloud said. Now he was a part of the conversation too, looking excited with just the idea alone. Riku smile at the idea; he must've been proud to be having a son or a daughter. He didn't look like the type that would abandon his kids at all.

"About six months now, right Aerith?" Aerith. _That_ was her name. But this time it was the strict, almost harsh voice of their mother that spoke. She looked like she was a young woman that had lost her life quickly; she had heavy wrinkles on her textured skin and sagging back under her eyes. They looked about the same age, but still, she looked nothing like Riku's own mother, who had always been a beautiful woman. Though he suspected she might have some gray hairs now. "Cloud, you must work hard to get a decent home away from this smog. It's unhealthy for my daughter and the baby."

Cloud obviously frowned, but even then he tried his best to hide it from her, which looked like an awkward site. Riku guessed that neither of them were on close terms, or that perhaps she was the nagging type that some people just couldn't get used to. "Don't worry, Mom. We'll be able to move into a good house next year. Promise."

"The country is a nice place," she said. It was more like she told him. "You would have a lot of land and good whether there."

"Right, right . . ."

Despite not having a great impression of her, as he had always been hated to be told what to do, he agreed with their mother fully. The country was better; the air was cleaner. The memory of saying that to Sora once had brought the young boy's face in his mind and he gritted his teeth a little, angry. Aerith was the first to notice.

"Riku, is something wrong?" she asked. He suddenly felt calmer, but not necessarily settled. She was a lot like her little brother in many ways, including that tranquil inducing effect they had just by speaking.

"It's nothing," he replied, trying to go back to his food. But his mind started drifting again back to Sora, only this time it wasn't such a terrible feeling. "I was thinking of Sora . . . and back at the church . . ."

When he heard no reply, Riku looked up to find all three of them with the same panicked expression on their faces, Cloud with an even more alarmed one in particular. At first for some reason, he thought nothing of it, like what was going on hadn't really registered with him.

'_Right, touchy subject,' _he thought. But something was a little different. _'Cloud and Aerith look nervous . . . but why is their mom staring at me like that?'_

She continued to stare at him in a way that was different from the other two; it was the same one his parents gave him afterwards, the same one his friends at school gave him afterwards. That piercing, cold stare that made him want to kill her just so she wouldn't look at him like that anymore. What did _she _know about him? What right did she have to look at him that way, like he was a freak?

'_But I guess I am one, if I really think about it,' _he concluded, giving in and averting his eyes. But still, she didn't know about that.

Abruptly their mother stood, rushedly picking up plates and silverware from the table. Cloud and Aerith just watched, not exactly sure what to do. She looked agitated, flustered about something. Riku opened his mouth to question but her voice game first, strong and cold.

"You're one of his _boyfriends_, aren't you?" Riku stared at her in disbelief. She glared. "_Thinking_ of him when he's not even around! God forbid, what else would you be? Disgusting! I told him not to let those boys come into _our_ home!"

"Mom," Cloud started, standing up a little bit. He was going to be Riku's voice for now, since he couldn't exactly find his at the moment. "Mom, Riku's a friend from work. He just knows Sora because he comes to the post office after school. He isn't like that, I swear."

"Isn't like what?" Riku asked sharply. He actually knew the answer, but he just wanted someone to say it out loud and confirm it for him. They all decided to ignore him.

"Then what's he doing here, _thinking_ of him of all things?"

Riku looked to Cloud who was struggling to find an answer. He decided he should really say something now. "I- I meant that I was hoping he was okay. I mean, Cloud said he fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. I was wondering if he was okay, since he's sort of become like a little brother to me . . ."

'_Liar,' _he thought as he spoke, the words slipping out of his mouth. _'You hate Sora. What kind of kid causes so many problems for one guy who already has enough on his shoulders!'_

Even though he wasn't sure of his words he made sure to stand tall and make perfect, solid eye contact. At first it seemed like she didn't believe him, but soon she heaved a heavy sigh and started putting the plates back down on the table again. "I see. I'm sorry you had to learn about something so shameful in this family."

"Something shameful indeed," Riku muttered. Not that he could talk. But at least he was in love with a girl.

"Mom, I'd like to excuse myself," Cloud said politely, though there was a hint of distaste in there. Aerith did the same thing, only she sounded much kinder. "Riku, do you want to come with us?"

"Sure." He didn't want to be with that annoying bat any longer; they may have agreed on several things, but that didn't mean he had to like her.

Riku followed both of them up a narrow flight of stairs right in front of the entrance of the house. There were a few doors at the top, and Riku followed as Aerith and Cloud both chose the door that was the furthest from them. Obviously their room with a bed that took up half the room and all of those baby gifts.

Cloud and Aerith sat down on the edge of the bed, and while Aerith did pat the spot next to her, Riku promptly refused and opted for sitting in a small chair. _'Who knows what they've done on that bed.'_

"Anyway," she started, a sort of sympathetic smile on her face. "I guess you didn't know Sora liked boys."

"I didn't know he was a cutter either," he mentioned on top of that, disturbing her a little. Out of nowhere memories of when Riku first met Cloud at the post office came up, and he remembered how cautious he was around him. Now he knew why. "Why did all of you freak out when I mentioned Sora? I guess I can understand your mom, but Cloud knows I'm not gay."

Aerith giggled as if someone told a funny joke. He found nothing funny about the situation in the least. "Truthfully . . . I was thinking the same thing as Mom. But I guess we were both wrong."

"Good thing, too," Cloud said. Riku couldn't exactly tell if he was being sarcastic or not by the seriousness of his voice, but he didn't think he was. He just didn't seem the type to make fun of something like this. "I was scared you were going to mention about Sora cutting himself earlier today."

Aerith looked to her husband and gasped, giving him the same face she had given Riku earlier. To Riku, she didn't seem surprised in the least; it was more like she was upset. Cloud continued and looked directly at his guest, saying the situation bluntly. "Listen: Mom has no idea Sora cuts himself."

"And how many times has he done this before?" Riku frowned. With the way he talked about it, it sounded like Sora did this on a regular basis. But that made sense somehow. "That's why you got so nervous when Sora went in the church . . ."

Cloud leaned back on his arms, his back against the mattress and his eyes towards the ceiling. "Anyway . . . he's got a lot of problems; don't blame him for all of this."

Riku didn't really understand. He shifted in his chair uncomfortably a bit, remembering his whole issue with diving too deep into other people's lives. This was definitely getting deeper than deep. "Wh . . . What kinds of problems? What else would make him do that all the time? And his brother- yours too-" he said as he looked to Aerith, "- has been dead for six years. What could possibly happen to make him keep it up for that long?"

Aerith spoke. She looked upset again, and her fingers in her lap played with each other almost awkwardly. "It just started after Leon died. Leon used to cut himself too, before he . . . committed suicide. He didn't want anyone to know, and Sora was so young that he couldn't understand, so Leon would ask him to go get the knives for him when others weren't looking, or he wouldn't mind Sora being around when he did it."

"Wow," Riku said out loud, outwardly unaffected but on the inside uneasy. "Your brother was an asshole."

They both decided to ignore that, and Aerith continued to tell the story. "It started after that, and Cloud caught him right away, but . . . he just won't stop. And he's scared to death to tell Mom, because she already can't stand him enough. She doesn't like Leon for bringing shame onto the family, and to her Sora's already a bad son. There's that, and because he likes boys . . . he doesn't exactly get favored attention at school."

"So he's bullied," Riku said frankly, earning a nod in response. He wasn't sure while listening, but now that he was sure she was done, he could feel anything; almost empty. But at the same time, he wondered how Sora kept on smiling when he carried so much on his shoulders at the same time. _'His brother's dead, he's gay, and he's bullied for it. He really does have it worse than me.'_

For a while none of them knew what to say. Riku didn't feel like asking any more questions, or getting any more personal than he already was. He made sure not to look like he was scared of knowing everything; he kept his face as much of a blank slate as possible.

Riku stood up after a few moments, stretching a little bit to relieve his tense muscles. The sound of the chair he was sitting on squeaking finally broke the silence among them and the other two looked to him. He smiled; part of it actually felt real.

"I'm gonna go home now," he said. They both said a small goodbye, and Cloud even offered to drive him home but Riku said it was okay. He felt like he really needed to be alone, to have some time to breathe that dirty city air and think for a bit.

When he walked into the hallway and was ready to go down the stairs he heard a door creaking open and a few small footsteps. He looked over to see Sora standing there, pajama shorts and a very long T-shirt; the sleeves seemed to be for hiding his scars.

"You leaving?" Sora said, as if he knew that Riku while there the whole time he was asleep. He must have just woken up, with the way he rubbed his eyes.

"Yeah," Riku replied simply. He turned to look towards the stairs and went down, waving a hand as a quick goodbye. "Hope you feel better. See you tommorow."

"Tommorow?" Sora repeated. He was confused for a moment. What tommorow? Then he remembered. "Oh yeah . . . paper route."

X x x x x

Kage-chan- Thanks! I hope this chapter sort of answers your question. It's sort of like how a child is influenced by what an adult does- he saw Leon cut, and along with the guilt and pressure from his family he went to cutting to make him feel better. He doesn't really cut anymore because of Leon, though- it's just a habit he can't get out of now. XD Yeay for drama!

LiLi-Sama- Yes! T.T Poor Sora indeed.

SimpleNClean92- Ummm . . . yeah? Sorry I don't update so much, but I'm glad you like my story. School is getting very hectic right now since it's end of theyear testing, plus I have three other fanfics to update. XD

MeiHikari- lol! XD I'm happy you like this! I didn't feel it was so much of a cliffhanger, but I agree with what you say about them!

akuma-river- Yeah, that's sort of the idea idea. T.T Sora and Riku are going to find a true friend in each other, one that'll learn to listen and help each other while Kairi has no one. XD So far, while Riku's gotten slowly better Kairi's gotten steadily worse. Noooo! T.T I feel so bad for her. I hope I'll be able to pull this off correctly!

varda101- Oh, thanks so much:D I'm honored you think it's original. I'm trying my best!

Sky-Pirate-Tat- Wow . . . Gosh, what a compliment! I really hope I'll be able to live up to that too. I actually don't know anyone who cuts or has situations like these, so actually I was afriad myself that I wouldn't be able to pull it off. So far you've been very encouraging, and I'm glad I'm able to do this! Like said, I hope this sort of idea lives on in future chapters. XD The chapter between Sora and Cloud is actually my favorite. Lol!


	13. Photograph

**Forbidden**

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic

Chapter Thirteen

Riku's eyes slowly opened as the television in front of him blared loudly. Even with that, the first thing he did was just close his eyes again and pull a pillow over his head. He was lying in his small apartment on the only couch he had right in the living room-kitchen, which was the first room to see as soon as anyone walked in.

He tried to ignore everything and just go back to drifting, but now all he could focus on the sound. With a groan he forced himself to sit up, feeling a small strain in his back from sleeping on such a rugged sofa. He reached for the remote right next to him and turned off the television as soon as he found the right button. _Finally_, some silence.

'_Sunday,' _was his first thought, next picking up the digital clock and checking the time. '_7:00. God, it's way too early.'_

Everything he needed on a daily basis was right there on a tiny table in front of him. It had a busted leg, one that needed to be propped up with a book to match the height of the others, but at least it still worked. He barely had anything that was in complete working condition; on his salary, he felt lucky to be able to afford anything at all.

Right on cue, as if someone knew when he was going to wake up in the morning Riku heard a loud knock. Instead of answering it he laid himself back on the couch and shut his eyes even tighter, pretending to be asleep this time so the intruder would go away. At the same time however, he knew it wouldn't work. This person was one of the most persistent of any people he knew. "I'm not home. Go away."

He heard a small laugh from the other side of the door and as the knob turned, in walked Sora with a grin on his face. He seemed to do this every morning now, since Riku refused to go anywhere near Sora's house.

Riku never wanted to go over to that house ever again. It wasn't Cloud, or Aerith, or even Sora that bothered him. It was their mother. She reminded exactly of what he would have felt like had he been allowed to stay back home so he could feel that gauche, unsettling tension in the air every single day. There was no way he was going to walk right into something like that again, especially if he could see everyone he actually liked in other places.

"Come on," Sora said as he leaned his stomach over the arm of the couch, balancing his body as he tried to purposefully shake Riku awake. He knew he was annoying the older of the two by doing so, and it only amused him more. "I thought country bumpkins had energy so they could work in the fields."

"Bite me," Riku retorted coldly before pulling the covers over his head.

Things were hard to get used to after that. At first whenever he looked at Sora, mainly when he either delivered the paper or came by after school to the post office, all he could think about was everything that happened to him all at once. It was something not easy to get used to at all. But at the same time, Sora never brought it up or even acted like Riku knew. He would always just smile and wave, or somehow get caught up in a conversation that would have them arguing like normal.

'_Still,' _Riku thought, at last shoving Sora off the side of the couch and stretching his arms above his head. _'It's been over a month since then . . . I guess things are fine. I feel fine.'_

He really felt okay.

Sora stuck out his tongue as he caught his footing on the ground and pulled a newspaper -the last one- out of his large pants pocket and threw it on the table with the rest of Riku's things. There were four other papers from the days before, all wrapped perfectly and untouched. Instead of getting annoyed by it he went to the side of the room that was the kitchen and pulled out two cups of Instant Ramen along with two glasses, not even bothering to ask since he had done it before. Quickly he filled the two glasses with water and put them both in a small microwave at the same time, setting them to heat for a few minutes.

"So, anything new?" Sora asked, leaning against the tiny kitchen counter. It was more like an old dresser someone threw out. "Can't say there's much going for me."

"Me either," Riku replied nonchalantly, acting as if he were barely paying any attention to the conversation. He leaned forward and pushed the five newspapers on his floor and picked up a small brochure, holding it up in Sora's direction to make sure it caught his eye. "This is the only thing exciting."

Sora squinted his eyes to read the title, then he pouted. "'Golden Life'? That place for people who are messed up in the head? Cloud and Aerith have been trying to get me to go there for years."

"That's why I have it," the older of the two replied, flipping through the small pages and scanning through it. He shrugged and grinned. "I'm supposed to 'enlighten' you. Convince you to go."

"You know those places are full of shit, right?"

"Why do you think I haven't gone to one?"

"Why _would_ you need to go to one?"

Riku paused, drawing in his breath and keeping it. For a while he was being careless, a little too friendly. He did trust Sora; he really did, or he trusted him more than anyone else. But still, no one around this place had any business knowing his past or why he was in the city in the first place, just as he had told himself over and over again.

Finally he sighed, lightly closing his eyes and smiling a bit. _'I almost really slipped . . .'_

Sora decided to ignore Riku's actions. For the time that he had known him, he had come to the conclusion that Riku was just plain weird in all aspects. It was probably what drew himself to like him so much, as a friend more than anything. Because he came from the country knowing nothing of whom he was or how others generally treated him, he found a sort of comfort in coming to him.

'_Of course, he knows all that now,' _Sora thought, turning around as he heard the beeping sound for the microwave. He turned around and pulled out the glasses, then he opened the two Ramen cups to pour the water in. He grinned. _'Still, he's not acting any different. He's been an asshole ever since I met him, but probably the best asshole out there at the same time.'_

Glancing over to another part of the small apartment, Sora found two doors hidden in the back corner. One was tightly shut, but the other one had a crack in it. Looking back at Riku and confirming that he went to lie down again (_'Lazy,' _Sora thought he snuck over to the two doors, just pushing the one that was already open enough to slip inside.

As soon as he saw it, he had known it was Riku's actually room, the one he was supposed to be sleeping on. It was completely messy, and even after over a month and a half moving boxes were still piled haphazardly everywhere and there wasn't a bed set up for him to sleep him; only an old, worn out mattress.

"Wherever he came from, it couldn't have been much worse than this," Sora muttered as something on the mattress caught his eye. On top of a single pillow was a large, thick album, already opened with pictures pressed in and hanging out all over the place, as if Riku were still working on getting them all in place. The room was dark and Sora wasn't going to risk turning it on, but he could see well enough.

He sat down on the mattress and pulled the photo album on his lap, suddenly looking at the pictures in admiration. The very first thing to get his attention was a young, ginger-haired girl with smiling violet eyes and creamy white skin. Every photo had her in it, sometimes with a group of others laughing and grinning, but without a doubt she was the main focus of them all.

'_Wow,' _Sora thought, turning the page backwards towards the beginning the album and finding more of the girl. _'She's really cute for a girl . . .'_

One picture I particular slid out of its place as he turned the page, the first one that Sora saw with both him and a much more cheerful looking Riku. He had his arm around the young girl's neck as if pulling her into a sort of friendly hug, and she was holding out a cell phone towards the camera. Sora turned it over and found writing on the back.

'_Happy 13th Birthday! Kairi's new cell. Better take care of it, 'cause I paid a lot of money for it!'_

"Kairi," Sora whispered, the name rolling off his tongue. On the lower corner of the picture was an actual number, one he assumed was for the cell phone. _'I wonder who she is.'_

X x x x x

Yeay! Sora's seen Kairi. :D Now the story will start to shift more towards Riku, his past, and all that great stuff. Hope it doesn't turn out too dorky. XD I'm trying! Oh, and the way he's making the Instant Ramen (Maruchan! XD) is the way I make it . . . I dunno if there's any other way, actually.

And I don't blame Riku for being so lazy on a Sunday. I always am too! XD Sora's the kind that gets up at 5:30 and wants everyone else to get with the program too. :D Hmmm . . . what do you call those places where people get treated for things like self-mutilation? I'm not sure, and I made up the name of the place too. XD lol!

Sooo . . . not very eventful, but leading up to stuff. Hope you enjoyed this!

Kage-chan- Thanks so much:D Hope you like this chapter and more of your questions get answered as time goes on. Keep on asking different questions, too- It might remind me of something I forgot all about! XD

MeiHikari- Ack, same here! XD I'm like one of those people who sees an abandoned kitty on the street and can't stand to leave it there. It always makes me happy to help people who are sad or are in need. XD lol! –Hugs Sora like he's a plushie- :D

LiLi-Sama- Thanks a lot:D Yup, Cloud and Aerith both know everything while their mom is completely oblivious. XD Evil lady, evil lady! But Cloud and Sora have a weird relationship, since Cloud is a homophobe. XD But he obviously cares of Sora a lot!

lol, Kairi really is angsty in this one . . . I made her so OOC. XD But it's fun to make her that way! Her old goody personality should come up soon though; maybe in a couple of chapters! Look out for that. –Hugs- Thanks for the compliment on Aerith! She doesn't come up as much as I'd like her to in this story (Hugs Aerith fan! xD) so when she is there I try to put her in as much as possible. Plus, she's Cloud's world! And they're having a baby! Yeay! –Dances- :D

Kia Saphia- A cliché? Like in the story, or in real life? I really have been centering it a lot around Sora on purpose though. XD I want to get 'his story' out of the way first, to sort of set the relationship boundary between him and Riku. They're not actually closer because of it or anything, but it's more on the slow development on Riku because he's sort of being forced to know the life of another person, and even more so an unusual and some would say 'disturbing' life. :D See what I mean? Oh, I hope! XD I'm no good with describing stuff. Lol!

No worries. It's not happening immediately, but Riku and Kairi will be reunited. :D What's gonna happen then though? I can't say. XD I'm still figuring out the details myself!

BLACKSHEEEP- lol! –Hugs back- Thanks a lot! I hope you continue to read this story!

Griever Weapon- Continuing! XD

Sky-Pirate-Tat- -Hugs- Thanks so much! XD Ack, I can't stand it when that happens. Especially when you think it's something really important and it's on the tip of your tongue:D Kairi will have support from someone later on the in the story (Well not later . . . actually, really soon!) so no worries. :D She'll finally find someone to lean on so she doesn't have to angst. XD Yeay!

Ack! Me? A pro Writer? –heart- Gosh, have I ever! I dreamed of being a writer, but unfortunately I can only think of fanfictions to write. XD I like thinking up my own stories, but sometimes I think they're too 'manga' stylized. I actually wanted to take this story here and re-do the names and some parts as a real story, but at times I think it's too corny. XD Like General Hospital corny! Lol!

akuma-river- Yeah, I know. T.T Poor Kairi! She's gonna get help, now worries. :D But from whom? Dun-Dun-Duuun! That's the secret! XD Truth be told, I actually was considering taking her down the same path as Sora and Leon, to sort of make a rhythm, but then I thought that'd make the story too much about cutting. XD And as one reader said, I've already focused on it enough! Know what I mean:D

SimpleNClean92- -Hugs- Thank you:D And of course I'll read your story. You've been a constant reviewer for this story, and it makes me so happy! I'd like to see what you have.


	14. Confession

**Forbidden**

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic

Chapter Fourteen

Sora quickly slipped the picture he had taken into his back pocket and shut the photo album as he heard the door creak open. He looked over to see Riku with a rare but sweet charismatic grin, two cups of finished ramen and a couple of forks in his hands. He held one up as if to say, 'Do you want it?' and Sora stood.

"Thanks," Sora said, taking what was offered. His voice sounded a little hesitant, a bit nervous. He wasn't even sure why, but as he remembered the pictures he had seen with Riku and the real thing smiling before him he frowned. He observed the older boy, then before he could even think about it the words flowed from him mouth. "It looks fake . . ."

"What?" Riku asked, not even bothering to ask Sora why he had been in his room or what he was doing in there. He seemed to be much more lenient on his friend than he usually was (And perhaps more awake than he was a moment ago), and instead of barraging him with questions he stepped out of the way to let him through. "What are you talking about?

Sora paused for just a second, trying himself to figure out just what he had meant. He didn't mean to say anything at all, but it just happened. Before he could come up with anything smart to say, he walked past and out into the living room/kitchen, muttering a small "Nothing," before sitting himself on the couch.

"_Ow_!" he said, feeling his back with one hand as the cup was in the other. The moment he sat down the cushion he was on sank, and he could almost swear he felt a spring poking his bottom. Riku assembled himself next to Sora, but unlike the boy who was currently pouting he didn't say anything at all. "God, how could you possibly sleep on this? I'm on it for two seconds and my back already hurts.

Riku smirked. "So sorry if I can't afford shit on my salary."

"No kidding."

Both of them seemed to find that fit to end their conversation, but for once there was nothing awkward about it. They were both now comfortable within each other's personal space, never finding it too necessary to keep things going or hasten their talks. Sometimes they spoke of the most pointless things, and when they were done neither Sora or Riku would wonder if that was a normal conversation.

Riku slurped some of the thin, tasty noodles in his cup before reaching for the remote and turning on the television. It was still loud, since for whatever reason he had it turned up so much the night before, and when it was finally barely audible for background noise he flipped through it until they were on the news. Neither one found it too interesting.

Sora seemed to finish their little breakfast faster than Riku, and when he did he read the tiny orange letter engraved in the cup. "Maruchan . . . that's Japanese, right?"

Riku was in the middle of eating and his answered was muffled. "Dunno."

"I'm Japanese but I've never learned how to read it. Not totally Japanese though. I'm Indian too, and Caucasian. Mom's from England." When he didn't get an immediate reply Sora turned. "What about you?"

It seemed Riku had finally finished too, and he dropped the cup on the ground among other pieces of trash. He thought about it for a moment, then he answered. "French and Irish. My Dad's the one who's French."

"You look French to me."

"Yeah, I don't look a thing like my mom."

When Sora thought of an Irish person, his mind instantly wandered back to the girl he was in the photographs, Kairi. She was so pale her skin glowed, and then she had that long red hair. Then things started to make sense, or at least in his mind it helped put a few more pieces together. _'That girl could be his sister . . . they do have the same smile, or they did.'_

Instead of keeping quiet like he had planned, he decided that it couldn't hurt to know. It would probably mean getting kicked out of the apartment for the rest of the day, not being able to talk to Riku until he cooled down from invading his privacy, but at the same time it might not be such a big deal. It might even be a fun thing to talk about. "Say, Riku. Who's Kairi?"

An emptiness filled the room the moment he said that, and Sora immediately regretted thinking that it was something carefree. How could he have been so stupid? Of course Riku wasn't going to let him know about himself; why would he tell him about other people, like family or friends? Sora averted his eyes, waiting for the yelling he was sure to come, but was surprised when instead he heard a small voice.

"I . . . I don't want to talk about that."

More than anything, Sora was surprised as he looked at his friend. Riku's head was turned away in the other direction, staring dead-on at a blank wall in the room. As he dropped the cup in his hand on the ground and brought his knees to his chest, he lightly smirked. Something about this felt ironic, though there was no irony to it. "I guess you trust me more or something."

"What are you talking about?" Riku asked, still in that same, moping sort of tone. He hadn't looked back yet.

"I thought you were gonna kill me and bury my body in the woods somewhere near the church. 'Cause I asked a question and stuff."

"Then why'd you even bother?"

"I don't know . . . just felt like it I guess."

Riku finally looked over to Sora, chuckling a bit, letting Sora's small smile widen. He felt like it was okay, perhaps. When he saw Sora, he felt he could trust him, but he wasn't sure to what extent. But just then, when Sora asked and actually knew the name of someone in his past, a heavy pit hit his stomach. For once it wasn't because he heard the name Kairi.

'_Maybe . . .' _Riku thought, opening his mouth a small bit then closing it, still trying to figure out the words he wanted to say. He didn't know. Was it right to say anything, or was it wrong? Would Sora understand? But still, right now for some reason he just wanted that pit in his stomach to go away. And he had a feeling he knew just how to do it.

"Sora . . . can I tell you something?

Kairi opened the door to her room slowly and peeked out the moment she heard her parents leave the house. Ever since her father had come her mother was nothing but smiles, always so happy with the way things were going and acting like they had such a perfect life. The odd thing was that she really was happy. Having her problem child out and her wonderful husband back in brought her more bliss than she could have possibly ever wished for.

'_I guess,' _she thought, her fingers lightly tracing against the wall as she walked towards the stairs to go down, _'She really has given up on me. Everyone has given up on me . . .'_

She didn't blame a single person. Not even Riku had anything to do with her problems anymore. Things between them, no matter what small part of her wanted things to change, were done and over with then and forever. And with no friends, no brother, and now no parents who were in their own fantasy world, things were going to stay that way.

Slowly she walked down the stairs and made her way into the kitchen in her house, which was small but one of her favorite places to be at when her mother and father went out. Since she never ate dinner with anyone, she would slip in and eat whatever she wanted on her own, then go back to her room when she could see the car lights coming up the driveway.

She just didn't feel like seeing anyone anymore.

This time she let herself sit on top of the counter, her hand reaching up to one of the cabinets above her. A memory came to mind in the past and she smiled.

'_I remember when I was really little,' _she thought, taking a bag of chips and opening them. She started chewing away at them hastily, as if they were nothing. She didn't have an appetite at all, but eating became more of an automatic thing than a want. _'I would climb on the counter and watch Mom cook. She'd get angry, but then she'd laugh it off and let me help her . . .'_

The smile she had became more genuine, feeling the happiness she used to have when everything was all right. She licked the salt from her fingers, the tiny crystals getting into the cuts around her fingernails from where the skin had been chewed apart. "I've always been better at cooking then Riku . . . he hated doing it."

Her moment was interrupted when she heard the doorbell of the house and she jumped. It was nearly nine o'clock at night, and the last thing she expected was anyone at the door. Still, she refused to move, and even more so she crossed her arms over her chest and froze. _'There weren't any car lights . . . it's not Mom and Dad . . . it could be a stranger . . . it . . .'_

After a moment a few knocks were against the door and she shut her eyes, her heartbeat pounding in her chest. But at the same time, while her body was reacting to the trauma, the fear, the pain, her mind was speaking so differently. _'Just go! Get up and do it! What can possibly be worse than what's already happened? Nothing! You've got nothing to fear anymore!'_

But whoever was at the door decided no to wait and opened it slowly, making Kairi bite down on her lip so hard it started to bleed. Her fingers squeezed at her shoulders, reddening her pasty white skin and her eyes were starting to water. _'No, I can't do this . . . I'm scared! I don't want anyone coming in! Just go away! Just go away!'_

" . . . Kairi?"

All at once things seemed to stop; her body was no longer shaking, her lip was no longer bleeding, the tears she wanted to cry were refusing to come out. She opened her eyes to see if the voice she had heard speak her name was really who she thought it was. And it was.

"S-S-S-" she said slowly, her voice incredibly unstable as she tried to string the name together. The young girl her age was standing before her with a small, bright colored sun dress, pink and light green patterned flowers pressed among the white cloth. While her outfit was smiling and her hair was in the bouncy curls Kairi always remembered, her face looked just as upset as her own. "Selphie . . ."

"I . . ." her old friend started to say quietly, her voice choking up as she averted her eyes. "I was sure you'd be home, so I let myself in . . . It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

Kairi didn't answer to the fake smile that Selphie was suddenly trying to pull; she didn't even fake one of her own. Instead she turned her face in the other direction and pulled her knees up to her chest. "Go away, bitch."

"Oh," she heard her mutter. "I guess . . . I guess I deserve that, don't I? A lot more than that . . ."

Kairi's voice was muffled by the thick sleeves of her shirt that covered her arms, but Selphie made sure to listen to every word intently. "Pretty much. I left school, so why are you coming here to bother me?"

"School's last day was on friday," Selphie replied informatively, though there was still that sadness to her voice. When Kairi didn't answer, she took a deep breath. "Listen, I . . . I know what happened was bad. Everyone knows you didn't want things to happen the way it did, or at least most people believe that . . . No one ever listened to your side of the story, and . . ."

Before she could finish what she wanted to say she paused, and out of a small shred of curiosity Kairi looked over to see what the problem was. More than anything, it surprised her to see that Selphie's eyes were watering and already there were tears along her cheeks. She took no attempt in hiding them or wiping them away; she didn't even try to smile as if things were better than what they seemed.

"I-I'm sorry," she said. More than the crying, more than the shock of her Selphie after so long, those words pinned against her. They were best friends at one time, her and Selphie and Yuffie, but that all changed. It was supposed to stay that way, but . . . "I'm really, really, sorry . . ."

Kairi could already feel a strong emotion stirring up in her that made her want to cry just as much. But before she allowed herself to, she had to know one thing for sure. "Will you listen to me? If I tell you what happened?"

Without hesitation Selphie nodded, and finally she started to dry and wipe away the tears. "Just tell me everything . . ."

X x x x x

Okay:D It took a while, but I'm actually very happy with this chapter. The next chapter will be telling Kairi's view of what actually happened to make everything go down, though it's pretty obvious and stuffs. XD

I love Riku and Sora's relationship! They have an odd one, but one that shows they're close. And Riku is French in this story of mine too! He's all French in my One-Shot Merci though . . . XD Has anyone ever wondered where this story takes place? I realized just this past chapter that I never said, and I always just mentioned Riku being a country boy going to the city sort of thing.

Well, here it is! Riku used to live in good ol' Pennsylvania, and now he lives in New York. Not New York City though- Gosh, that place is crazy! Have you all been there? It's a lot of fun. Anyways, so yes! This story has actually been taking place in America. And I don't really know New York outside of NYC or Pennsylvania pretty well, but I did visit my Great Grandfather in Pennsylvania once . . . boy, was_ that_ in the middle of nowhere. Lol!

So, okay:D I hope you enjoyed this chapter and are looking forward to Kairi's story.

Kage-chan- lol! I used to be so incredibly lazy in the mornings myself . . . XD I used to get up at one in the afternoon! But now I often get up at seven or seven-thirty, and it makes the day seem so nice and long! I love it. XD Except on weekends, where I usually get up at ten and stuff. XD But then I take naps during the day too!

Kia Saphia- Hmmm . . . I'm gonna have to disagree with you on that. I don't really see cutting as a cliché at all. There are many methods of self-mutilation that are terrible, but the way you write makes it seem like cutting is the 'spotlight' of self-mutilation, as well as a popular subject (And only a subject, not a problem to be solved) for the media to portray teenagers in. You're making it sound like a game and a regular thing almost.

No offense, but it's just the way I see you making it out to be by the way you said it. Really, though! I don't want to make you angry. I'm happy you've read my story and you have things to say about it:D It makes me very happy.

SimpleNClean92- Thanks so much! I really did like your One-Shot; it was nice!

Lili-sama- lol! Perverted/Horny Sora does sound funny . . . There's this story I've been reading by Slashapalooza, and there's this one chapter where Sora drinks too much Red Bull and starts stripping . . . O.o It's too funny! OOC Sora is awsome. XD

Sky-Pirate-Tat- Thank you! And as for that call . . . You're on the right track:D

MeiHikari- Yes, lol! XD Especially-Especially for a Sunday . . . crazy Riku! Crazy Sora too, for being able to be all awake and stuff at that time. Lol!


	15. Firehouse

**Forbidden**

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic

Chapter Fifteen

Darkness had already fallen over the long, winding street, yet for a time so late at night it was anything but quiet. Stars in the cloud-free sky lit up the excited grins of young teenagers, all who were starting to rush out of their houses at just a little past eight to head over to the biggest party of the year. Cars started and music pounded in their ears to the point of headaches, but none of them were wearing a frown.

Kairi stepped outside of the screened door to her house dressed in the brand new red dress she had bought for the event. She loved the feel of it squeezing against her body and how it at the same time managed to be snuggly comfortable and soft. She spun around in the grass, her bare toes welcoming the warm dirt.

"Okay," she started cheerfully. In her hand was a small cell phone with a pink covering, something her older brother Riku had gotten her a couple of years before. In truth, it was the best gift anyone had ever gotten her, especially when considering how much she loved to talk. She giggled. "Yeah, Riku's being stubborn again. He doesn't want to go at all!"

"Are you serious?" On the other line was one of her closest friends as a child, Yuffie Kisargi. She was a fun, loud girl, and had always been one to speak her mind. "But he's so _hot_! He's so popular too. I don't get he hates going to parties."

"He told me they're not _private_ enough for the real fun."

"What's he implying there?"

Both started squealing with laughter at the same time and Kairi walked over to the porch in front of her house. Along with a small, wooden bench there was a comfortable swing with a pillow. She smiled softly as she remembered her father building it just for her; it was the day after the tree with the old tire swing had been cut down. After wiping her feet on the floorboards she sat herself comfortably against the cushion, being sure not to go near any splinters that could tear her dress.

"Well, Tidus is going," Yuffie started after calming down a bit, though there were still little fits of giggles on the other line, "so Riku definitely has to go."

"Yeah," Kairi replied, grinning. "I'll try and convince him to come along as best as I can. Besides, he's my ride! I can't drive yet."

"Oh, and make sure he wears something tight- I wanna see that ass of his!"

"_Eeew_, don't talk about my brother like that!"

The moment she shut off her phone she turned to see her dear older brother. He was on the porch on with her, leaning against the screen door and the other door closed behind it, looking at her with an awkward smirk on his face. "Don't talk about me like what?"

"None of your _bees-wax_, dork."

"You look good in your dress."

"Thanks!" Kairi replied, grinning widely. Just for show she stood up and spun around again. She had done this once before for him, when she had first bought it and wanted to show it off. But this time was different; now her long, perfect auburn hair was up in a bun with little wavy strands framing her face. She had her make up done with the help of her mother, so of course she glowed like an angel.

When she stopped Kairi glanced to her brother, who looked as if he were averting his eyes. She pouted, poking his stomach and knocking him out of his strange trance. "C'mon! I don't look that bad, do I?"

Riku laughed, completely back to his normal, charming self again, which made her smile softly. That was the brother she knew, the one she had grown up with and loved. He had always taken care of her, always protected her, always made sure that when their parents weren't there for her he was, and then some. _'Although lately . . .'_

It had been the past couple of years, but she felt something odd growing between them. It was a new feeling from him, something that made her feel like she was being pushed away and forced closer at the same time. But even though she hated it, it seemed like Riku was always trying his best to mask it, as if he knew it was there too. So, she did the same.

"And look at you," she continued in a girlish voice, "You're such a _redneck_!"

It was true. While she was dressed in a beautiful, stylish dress he was wearing faded pale jeans with holes and an open button up shirt. He never dressed like that while they were in school of course, but at home he was incredibly lazy and tasteless. Even more, the dance they were going to was only a little while.

"I told you, I'm not going," he said in a teasing voice, reading her mind exactly.

"Yes, you _are_!" she said, taking his shoulders and making him stand up straight so she could open the doors to their house. "You didn't go to prom, and you're a senior so you have to go to this one! Now go get dressed."

"If you love me, you'll let me stay home."

"Fine, I un-love you."

"You win."

Before Kairi could get a specific look on her brother's face he dissapeard to the inside of the house. But even then, she swore she caught something in his eyes, that same thing that nagged her constantly when it came to him. She wasn't sure if he looked hurt or happy or anything. Something about him when they talked sometimes just seemed . . . deep.

'_I'm imagining things,' _she thought, going back to sitting on the bench. She looked down at her cell phone for a moment then picked it up and began dialing. "Hello? Selphie?"

x

"Riku, my main man!" Tidus said as he wringed an arm around his friend's neck the moment he got out of her car. He was a year younger with blond, trendy hair and beautiful blue eyes. Everyone thought of him as loud and perhaps a little obnoxious, but no one could resist the stories he told about his life back in California when he was a child. He was born a military brat but his father had retired and his family moved to a more secluded area. "You actually came."

"I was forced," he replied with a smirk, taking the arm that was wrapped on him and lightly pushing it away. Although he acted awkward around him, the both of them had been the best of friends ever since they met eight years before.

"Don't say that," Kairi, who was just getting out of the car, said with a bit of a pout. Right behind her came Selphie whom Riku had to pick up and then Yuffie. "I didn't force you. You said I won!"

"Hey, this is no time for arguing!" Selphie said excitedly, punching the sky and screaming at the top of their lungs. "It's _so_ time to par-_tay_!"

"You got it, baby!"

"Shut up, Tidus! You perv!"

All of them (With the exception of Riku, perhaps) were waiting for this one day, the biggest dance of the entire year. It was even bigger than the prom for school since it was open to a wider audience. But at the same time, it wasn't even a school funded party; money donated by all of the kids who wanted to come decided to rent the local firehouse, and there were a lot of kids who were ready to give a little money from their wallet.

"Come on, let's go," Yuffie said as she grabbed Kairi by the wrist, pulling her off in the direction of the entrance. Selphie came following, but the two older boys in their little group stayed by the car. The firehouse itself was quite a walk from the parking lot, but even from that distance the music from inside could be heard.

It was then when she turned her face that she saw Riku and Tidus with more serious expressions, ones that she wasn't used to seeing. Their mouths were moving and their voices were low, but she could only catch one thing she heard from the blond. It was one thing she didn't expect.

" . . . You should tell her that you love her . . ."

Hearing that alone made her turn around, her heart pulsating rapidly. _'Riku . . . likes someone? Loves someone? Since when? He never told me about this! I thought we told each other everything . . .'_

Even more, it looked like it was the real thing. Riku, despite being such a charming and sweet guy to every girl he met, was very picky and choosy about people he wanted to date, unlike his best friend. In fact, as far as Kairi knew he hadn't had a girlfriend since she was nearly thirteen years old. _'If he really was in love with someone, he'd be the type to fall hard.'_

But the constant pulling of Yuffie and Selphie left her unable to contemplate any of those sorts of thoughts anymore. And of course, as interested as she was in her brother's love life, she came to the firehouse to have fun. Dance, eat, meet cute boys and the like.

The three of them stepped through the doorway after presenting their ticket stubs to be introduced to a wide, completely open room. It was all one giant dance floor filled with students from the few local schools and music so loud one couldn't even hear the person next to them. Tables for drinks and food were set up along the outside where some people stood. Of those people were three of Kairi's close friends, boys from school.

"Kairi!" they called, all heading over in her direction. Kairi immediately parted ways with her two girl friends to head over towards them, a wide smile on her face. The three of them were their own little troupe, one could say; always together, always having fun, and even more always around Kairi at school. It was as if they were inseparable. _'Riku never really liked them though . . .'_

"So," she started, though she spoke loudly because of the music. One of the three, a brunet with short hair, quickly handed her a drink from the punch bowl and she accepted readily. "I see all of you came. How is it so far? Have you guys been here long?"

"About a half hour," the blond of the three replied. "It's cool, but too loud. I think I'm gonna go deaf by the end of the night."

Kairi took a long gulp of the punch, savoring the sweet taste. A huge energy was starting to rush into her all at once, and when she turned to look at the dance floor she was getting excited. Without much thought she ran into the crowd of students, turning to the three to get her to follow her. After all, it was a dance. What else were they supposed to do? "Come on!"

x

"My head gets fuzzy after that . . ." Kairi stated. Her voice was coarse after talking so much at once, especially after not talking like that in such a long time. But she wasn't crying anymore; while Selphie was sitting next to her on the counter, already balling when there was nothing to cry about to her story she had yet to shed any tears. The words plainly flooded out of her mouth until that moment. "The next thing I remember is waking up near the woods outside of the fire department."

"I . . . I remember that," Selphie said in a whisper, finding it difficult to speak unlike her friend.

Kairi continued. "I had a headache and my clothes were ripped up. I woke up with Riku there . . . he was on top of me, kissing me . . . he . . ."

It started to seem like the point where she wasn't sure what to say; not because she didn't remember, but because she didn't want to say it. She didn't need to remember things to know what actually happened; the proof was all there.

She was raped.

X x x x

I suppose it was very heavily hinted in the story for every one of my readers to figure out, but there it is. T.T There's more to this story, more I'm sure quite a few of you have picked up! Oh, and those three boys are the same boys Kairi saw at the mall in chapter Seven. XD So, yeah.

I hope I did it okaaaay . . . as you can see, Riku and Kairi got along really, really well before all that stuff started to happen. XD And you can see points where you know he loves her. And Tidus too! Tidus is Riku's best friend, and the only person who knows and obviously supports him.

Oh yeah . . . does anyone else have these kinds of parties? I wonder if it sounds strange to people, but I didn't make it up! There are parties that are funded for kids where we live, and they all rent out the local firehouse so we can dance and stuff. X3 It's fun!

So . . I hope you all like it. :D

MagicianCyborg- Cried? For this story? Oh gosh! –Hands you a tissue- Don't cry, really! But I'm so happy you were moved to that point . . . it makes me feel what I'm doing is good! Thank you!

Lili-sama- Yeah. XD Neither Riku or Sora are horny in this. Lol! They both are in love with someone (Sora's love is going to be revealed in the next chapter), but they're not all, "I love you, so let's do it!" :D Thank you for reviewing your wonderful reviews, as always!

Sky-Pirate-Tat- Thank you! I felt that if there was anyone to help Kairi getting into some sort of step in a new direction, it had to be one of her old friends. Selphie and Yuffie betrayed her in ways that couldn't be imagined, just like her brother did. But I think having one of her friends instead of a new character helps tie things, you know what I mean? XD I hope I did okay!

kage-chan- Thank you! X3 I'm getting so used to the idea of Riku being french . . . lol! He was even french in my one-shot! I would have made him spanish (It's the language I actually know, unlike french XD), but he doesn't look spanish at all! And can't you just imagine him whispering those sexay french sweet nothings into your ear softly, with those devilishly seductive eyes as those soft lips? Ooooh gosh . . . What a dream:D

BLACKSHEEEP- Thank you:D Ack! Sora, at the door? He's super-man, with super speed and everything if he can get there so fast! But then again, I suppose a couple of days could have logically passed, giving him the time and everything . . . XD lol!

MeiHikari- Aaack, the typo-monster has rained on me! T.T Thank you for telling me that; I'm trying to edit this story right now to make up for titles, but for some reason I keep getting lazy on it. XD lol! I'm happy you like the Sora-Riku scene better; I do too:D Nothing's better than best friends just sitting around and talking about nothing for a while.

LunaTigress- Thank you:D lol, Pennsylvania . . . I love that place! It's so nice there; I'm sure it definitely isn't all country. XD If Rhode Island with its miniscule size can have a major city (Quahog! XD lol, too much Family Guy) then I'm sure Pennsylvania has them too. :D

Kia Saphia- Thanks:D Hmm . . . I guess I don't get things, but whatever. :D No point in arguing if I don't get it all! I'm just writing what I feel will fit. Lol! X3 Thank you for the compliments; sometimes I feel the little things that people never notice are the most important parts of a story, you know? Weird! XD Oh, and I'll read your story as soon as I can!

Shimmy123- Thank you:D I know it might not be what you were expecting, but I still hope it's good.

**Fanfiction Reccomendation!**

If you enjoy this story for twisted things, well . . . let's just say it's got nothing on Pachinko by Monsters. It has more disturbing relationships and ideals than you can shake a stick at, and with a crazy Sora that has two personalities you'll love it! Warning though: Contains Shounen-ai (Boy's Love), Psycho-drama, Incest between brothers and parent to child, and Shota (Or children's love).

Believe it or not, I'm such a normal person it's scary. XD But I adore these sorts of fics that play with what the majority of the population call distressing. Lol:D But yeah, check it out!


	16. Sonogram

**Forbidden**

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic

Chapter Sixteen

Sora opened the door to the apartment when he heard a knock. "Hey."

"You ready?" Cloud asked. Sora nodded briefly in reply, but before he walked out he turned back to Riku. He was still lying on the same couch they had been on all day, covering his face as if he were in shame. Cloud gave him a curious glance, but when there was no reply he didn't push further. He stepped out of the way and his younger brother walked out.

"Sorry for calling you," Sora started slowly as they began to walk down the stairs. Their shoes squeaked under the metal, rickety floor underneath them. "I just . . . didn't feel like going home alone or anything."

He came over at seven in the morning on a Sunday, but somehow it didn't turn out to just be a small visit. It started off like other visits; slow, easy. But somehow they gravitated towards something so real he didn't even want to think about it. Sora stuffed both of his hands into his pockets, his fingers lightly touching the photograph he had taken without Riku knowing. _'Kairi . . .'_

Kairi. The girl of Riku's dreams. His sister . . . Sora started to feel his heart rate hasten at the thoughts of what had happened, and a strong tingle played around his wrists but he bit down hard to try and resist. Being aware of other people's problems was a start to try and stop what he did when _he_ was nervous.

"It's okay," Cloud replied, and when Sora saw the smile he knew he was genuine about it. "It's my day off anyway. You were lucky too. Aerith and I were just coming home from looking at her sonograms."

"Really!" Sora grinned widely, fully taking in the change of conversation. He was willing to think about anything else as long as long as it took things away from just a few moments ago. "How'd it go? Is the baby okay?"

Cloud's smile faded a little as his mind went into deep thought, as if he wasn't sure how to word things. The both of them reached the bottom stair, and right there waiting by the street curb was a small, brown car. Some of the paint had been chipped off to reveal a dull gray underneath, and dents pushed in all around the bumper and the front. One of the headlights was also missing from a deep gash on the surface. "The baby . . . isn't doing okay."

"What?" No; he didn't want to hear anymore bad news right now. Especially if it had to do with someone so close. Aerith was waiting in the front seat of the car and turned to look at the both of them, a soft, pleasant smile on her face. This calmed him down a little bit; seeing her alright made him feel a little better as he got into the back and Cloud in the driver's side.

Cloud continued to talk as he started up the car and drove more into the street, flowing in with the scarce company of other vehicles. "We've still got about two and a half more months until the baby is actually due, but right now the doctor wants Aerith to go through an emergency C-Section."

"Emergency . . .?" Sora repeated, leaning forward in his seat so that he was between his older siblings. He wasn't bothering to wear a seatbelt. He turned to his sister who was staring ahead, her expression void of any worry. "Hey, have you been having contractions early or something like that?"

"No . . . not really," she replied. "But right now something's happening with our baby's heart, and the doctor thinks that if they stay inside me any longer it could get worse, so . . . a C-Section might be the best option."

"So, you might have the baby within a month or something?"

Aerith smiled as she lightly patted her rounded stomach. Over the weeks as she was beginning to go into her seventh month her stomach swelled; it wasn't huge, but it was enough for people around her other than her husband to notice. She already seemed to grow into habit of rubbing it or holding it, as if all of her thoughts were concentrated towards her future child. Sora frowned as he heard the story; he imagined childbirth and making decisions like this were hard.

"We're really thinking of going through with it, me and Cloud," she started, and Sora listened. "Being born a couple months premature isn't a terrible thing, and I'm excited about seeing my baby. The only problem is that along with being born early, they're going to be sick so we're not sure if . . ."

She didn't have to finish the sentence for Sora to understand what she was trying to say, and he didn't want her to. This small life was the happiest thing their family had at the moment, and to lose it would be the worst thing that could happen. He gripped the seat of the car in anxiety, then let go and pulled Aerith into a tight hug around her neck.

"Don't worry," he said softly, although it was more as if he were speaking to himself than to her. She looked well. "Everything's gonna be okay."

There wasn't a single word for the rest of the drive home. Weak music played on the radio, most of it being heavily blurred out by either bad reception or the loud honking of horns around them. Slowly they continued along nearby their street to their home the cars piled along the road, but they had luckily been able to park along the side of the street without anyone blocking them.

When they walked inside their mother was waiting. She was sitting at the table with a small lunch meal already finished and prepared for them, but she wore anything but a welcoming smile. There was a thin, serious line along her lips, and Sora only glanced into her stern eyes for a moment before turning away. He hurriedly went passed her and sat down at the table as she approached her daughter and son-in-law.

"Well?" she asked, a small trace of worry in her strict tone. Quickly the both of them explained what was happening, mostly Aerith speaking while Cloud watched Sora eat up the food so he could hurry upstairs.

When she was finished she looked absolutely furious. "A C-Section . . . You can't possibly be thinking of going through something like that!"

"But _Mom_!" Cloud started, finally getting his part in. Aerith had opened her mouth to also speak in protest but she let her husband talk instead. "That's the best option for the baby! Don't you understand? Our baby is _dying_!"

Her defiance didn't even falter. "God did not intend for such a thing to occur. This is a test of our will, and we won't through something so _unnatural_. And do you even realize how much more often mothers die from C-Sections?"

"But . . . but Mom!" Aerith said, clinging to the cloth around her stomach. She looked hurt from hearing such cold, harsh words. Of course the both of them were prepared to hear anything that came from her mouth, but even then it was painful. "We really want what is best for our baby. Please . . . accept this!"

"I won't!"

Sora pushed the last bit of food onto the edge of the plate and licked it, being sure to watch in case his mother turned around and caught him. When he swallowed he hastily put his fork down and went upstairs. He tried his best to shut out the sounds of the sudden yelling and arguments that were occurring, but even shutting the door to his bedroom wasn't doing any good for that.

As he sat down on the edge of his bed, staring up at the ceiling as he kicked off his shoes Sora covered his ears. _'What's the matter with her? Isn't having a baby supposed to be a good thing? She's pissing everything off!'_

"God, I hate thatbitch!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, unplugging his ears for just a moment to pick up one of his shoes and throw it across the room. It slammed against the wall, creating a loud and heavy vibration. The noise downstairs stopped for only a few seconds then continued on as if nothing happened. _'Why . . .?'_

Sora laid down against the bed, not bothering to even put the covers on top of him. A little crinkling noise from his pocket made him remember the small picture that was hiding there, ultimately shifting his thoughts to earlier that day.

Riku raped his sister . . . at least, that's what everyone _thought_. He decided to believe his friend. The honesty in his face as he told the entire story was far too real for it not to be true. _'And for the first time . . . I saw Riku cry.'_

That strong, charming, hateful, bittersweet emotionless guy he had first met actually cried in front of him. As soon as everything boiled down to the heat of the moment, the one place where everyone made a mistake –where_ he_ made a mistake- hot tears fell and they wouldn't stop. It was hard to watch, and uncomfortable.

'_But if everyone is wrong,' _he thought, reaching into his back pocket in taking out the picture. One arm was fitting behind his head, the other with his fingers spinning the photograph in observation. He looked from the sweet, smiling young girl then to the white on the back, the numbers for the phone etched out in black. _'Why is he right here? Why isn't he trying to fight what happened to him, to change things? Wouldn't Kairi . . . figure out things after a while?'_

He didn't want Riku to be mad at him; he really didn't. For the first time in years, he had someone he found close to him other than a family member. First it was Leon, whom he idolized and treasured as an older brother. Then it was Cloud, who always took care of him and helped him when he needed him most.

But Riku . . . he didn't take care of him, or treat him like a child. He was just a friend. A real friend.

"That's why . . ." Sora sat up and focused on the phone number, his heart beginning to race and his mind churning with ideas. He looked over to a small phone that was hooked up in his room, then back down at the photograph. He smiled softly. ". . . I want to help you, Riku.

X x x

Finally, updated this story! I decided to bring the focus to another dramatic aspect that hasn't had much play in the story; Cloud and Aerith's baby. And we get to see more of their evil, strict mother. I really love Cloud and Aerith, but it's a shame I can't add them in the story too much!

And towards the end we have our predictable little turn. Sora's getting involved for his buddy. Yeay:3 And what's this? Riku _didn't_ . . .? Ack, I feel my story is predictable. Oh well! I'm enjoying writing it nonetheless.

And also, please excuse any typos. I had to hurry up and do this. XD

Lili-sama- Yes, a flash back! We might have another in the future, but I'm not sure. I'm still for the most part just making everything up; I only have a vague idea of it all!

Dragon Scales 13- Apparently, it all is a misunderstanding! At least that's what Riku has told Sora . . . but why should I boost the rating? It's a heavy topic- a lot of topics in this story are, but it's certainly not this tabboo "M+" thing. It's just reality. XD

kage-chan- Thank you! T.T –Also cries for Kairi- Things will be better in the future part of this story, I hope. And I hope I can explain things well too!

Sky-Pirate-Tat- Yes, it's coming closer to the ending- Not for another five chapters or so, I guess. I really don't know! I haven't even started on the next chapter yet. XD

L33t apprentice- Aww, that's too bad . . . they're really fun:D And not dangerous like this story seems to imply . . .

RikusGirl2007- Thanks! I'm happy you like it.

Kia Saphia- Yeah; I always wanted to do something like this with them, being together as a real brother and sister. It was a lot of fun. :3

carbuncle x3- Thanks a lot! I hope you like this update too.

MagicianCyborg- Well, this is how the story is going on anyways. :D And Pachinko is based off of Paranoia Agent, so that's why it seems like that. Both are super-super crazyyyyyyy . . . . XD


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